The Mons

Caffeine-fueled, obligatory New Year's post

2012-01-01T09:07:00.000-08:00

Today is the first day of 2012. This year I would like to learn about balance in my life. The last 6 months -- no, 18 months -- have been all about pushing myself to the next deadline. Everything that was not work or family got seriously squeezed out. Like exercise. And friends. Not good. This year I'm going to do things differently.

There are two reasons to change in 2012. The first, and obvious reason, is I need to exercise and see friends to be healthy. Period. The second, and less obvious reason, is because I am nearing the end of my degree and starting a new phase of my life. This next year needs to be an "experiment" in how work should look within the entirety of a balanced life, giving me good information on how I should shape my career.

The importance of this task is especially fresh in my mind. This holiday "break" has been anything but. The new quarter starts on Tuesday, and instead of refreshed and ready, I'm exhausted. I've spent every free moment reading, writing and stats-ing for a mid-January deadline, sacrificing time with family, sleep, household upkeep, etc. This is not acceptable. I really don't mind this level of intensity sometimes, but it has persisted for FAR too long.

This must change immediately. Overall, I am going to get way more cozy with my calendar. First, I am scheduling time at the gym like I schedule everything else in my day. Two one-hour sessions during weekdays, and one on the weekend. Second, I am riding the bike at home for 30 min on 2 other days during the week. This should not be that hard to do, right? Second, I need to start scheduling times with friends, even if it has to be weeks out. This can start with some email blasts to friends with some potential dates. Third, I am refocusing on cutting out most white sugar and flour. This has been pretty successful lately, but I want to continue and improve on it. Oooh, thought of a fourth: I need time for some creative pursuits, like writing, or creating things, or seeing things other people have created. I can double up this items with the friend time often as well.

So, those are the things I'd like to add, and now for what I'd like to take away: First, I want to decrease email time to just a few times a day. Second, I want to decrease Facebook time to just once a day. These are time sucks, which while they help keep in touch with people, are not usually terribly productive.

One other thing I want for this year, like every year: a made bed every day. Wish me luck.

Enough already with “War on Christmas”

2011-12-20T21:43:00.000-08:00

A few weekends ago, our lab hosted a holiday party for research participants and their families. During the party, I noticed the diversity of the group. I also realized that of the 75 or so guests at that party, at least one-third likely do not celebrate Christmas for either cultural or religious reasons. Which makes me wonder…why are some people so angry about saying Happy Holidays instead of Merry Christmas?

I’m pretty sure most people who do not celebrate Christmas are not offended by Christmas greetings and décor, but what’s wrong with making our sentiments a little broader and more gracious in more public contexts? There are lots of people who celebrate Hanukah or Ramadan or Hindu holidays, but I’m wondering if the "War on Christmas" people know any of them. If they did, maybe they’d have a change of heart. It’s really not difficult or offensive to be inclusive. Really.

"Lil Ging" 10 months old

2011-11-26T10:05:00.001-08:00

Advice for future doc students

2011-11-16T20:08:00.000-08:00

Now that I'm realizing that I actually may graduate one day, I keep thinking about what I wish I had known (or fully embraced) when I started. The problem is my brain is so gone that I can't remember all these tidbits at once. So, I'll just try to log them here when I think of them.

1. Keep all your books, articles, notes, posted slides, everything from your coursework and seminars. Be geeky and organize them for easy access later. It's very likely that you'll one day be TEACHING the very topics you thought you could doze through since they don't really relate to your research.

2. Everyone is required to read journal articles that are dull, utterly confusing, seemingly irrelevant, and/or, again, do not relate to your line of research. When pressed for time (or losing your sanity), read the abstract, then skim the introduction and the discussion. Look for phrases like "In other words" and "To summarize" and "For example" as they will shortcut you to the learnin.

3. When you are reading stuff that actually DOES relate to your line of research or is otherwise important, and you're having trouble focusing, synthesizing, retaining or even understanding the material, come up with your own examples. Write them down. Draw an illustration of the example. Then explain it aloud to your dog. Multi-modal learning works!

4. Similarly, when preparing for general/qualifying exams, write while you read. Read a few paragraphs, think about it, and write about the concepts for yourself, including your nifty examples (be very careful to note any paraphrasing and put verbatim in quotes to avoid plagarizing). You will learn the material more thoroughly, and hey! how cool is it that I already wrote two pages about this construct that I can now synthethesize with another two pages I wrote about the Schmedly & Furgus 2007 article and dump it into my exam!

To be continued...

5. If possible, try to have a baby during your doctoral program. It will make study time feel like a vacation. (Kidding...kind of...)

November

2011-11-13T09:44:00.000-08:00

Style appointment. New car. Playdates. Doc appointment. Conference call. Cider. Model discussion. Lantern walk. Trader Joe's. Good conversation. Seahawks. IRB. Grant reviews. Conference proposal. Error analysis. Stats consult. Lunch. Caregivers group. Art with Heart. Meet with Nancy. Thanksgiving.

Style file

2011-10-12T09:20:00.000-07:00

I recently signed up for an in-home clothing/style consultation as part of one of those 50% off Groupon-type deals. This is incredibly exciting to me as I've been wanting to do something like this for ages, but just couldn't justify the expense. Anyway, I decided to write down a list of style likes and dislikes to maximize my 90-minute appointment. No use spending time telling them No Thanks on peasant skirts and wedges...but I'm getting ahead of myself.

LIKES
wool plaid skirts (above knee, esp with tights and boots)
wool in general
boots, boots, boots
wingtip inspired footwear (e.g. platform heels)
leather (esp camel-color)
argyle!
stripes
wrap shirts and dresses
minimal jewelry
New England prep (sometimes meets British punk)
neutrals, orange, blue, red, yellow
jackets and cardigans
tailored shapes
jeans
v-neck
t-shirts under jackets and cardigans
patent leather
mary janes
stylish shoes okay for longer walks
penny loafers

PARTICULAR ABOUT
prints (graphic preferred, some floral okay)

DISLIKE
skirts cut on a bias
peasants skirts
most purple, many pinks, many greens, most pastels
wedge heels
flowy
hippyish
bedazzled
crew neck
elastic hem/hip shirts
many florals
overt polyester
Uggs except as slippers
hoodies except to the gym
patchwork leather
matchy-matchy
heart-shapes

My husband also has 2 kids

2011-10-03T12:13:00.000-07:00

While from the title it may look like Ray has 2 other children, what I mean to say is...my husband has the same general life situation as I do, and yet he doesn't seem prone to dropping 8 balls a day. He works full-time, he has a 4-year-old and a baby, and yet, he remembers what's in the fridge, what resources are available to fix a problem, what appointments he has each day. Me...not so much.

I've always be an organized, on-time kind of person. I've always kept a calendar, but often didn't need to refer to it even when it was chocked full of plans. I also used to remember my list of to-dos without much trouble. I'd write them down, but generally they'd percolate in my head until I could check them off. No longer.

In the past few weeks, I've "no showed" for 2 appointments. This is surprising and embarrassing. I am NOT a no-show kind of person, at all! My present to-do list is so long, that I can't keep track of even half of it. At most I can think of 3 or 4 things that are the most pressing, and then occasionally one of the other 41 things will drift randomly in my head. I am lucky if I'm near a piece of paper to write it down in that moment, because a moment is all it takes before it's out of consciousness for another few weeks.

I guess I have to attribute this to lack of sleep (please, Baby, sleep through the night SOON), 2 kids, several big-push deadlines in the last 4 months, and the general stress of graduate studies. But again, is this really any different from my husband? We trade off nights with the baby, he has lots of stressful changes at work, and to be honest, he does most of our cooking and all of our laundry. I guess I pick up the other household stuff -- general errands, projects and household upkeep -- but still.

I guess the problem is really that my working memory capacity has shrunk, but my need for it has increased exponentially. Regardless, I've got to work out a new system for things. Maybe a talking calendar or flashing to do list. Something!

Hello, er...40!

2011-09-23T09:56:00.000-07:00

Today is Friday of Birthday Weekend. I am not working today, getting home stuff done that has been languishing while I've been marathon reading and writing for the last...forever. And having a leisurely lunch and nail appt with Jana. Nice way to start the new year/decade/life, part II.

Anyway, this birthday is one where people like to take stock, look at their lives so far, look ahead, mull, evaluate. Not a bad exercise...

Aside from the typical why-didn't-I-figure-that-out-sooner! moments, life's been pretty darn good and satisfying. When I was a kid, I had no idea what I wanted to do after college. I imagined myself married by 27 (...???). Though I consciously envisioned myself with a Career, I've recently realized that the only career I could actually picture was being a housewife. That was a shocking realization, but it makes sense: my mom, my first and most influential role model, was a full-time stay-at-home mom, and a darn fine one at that. It's a tough job...and one that does not fit me at all. However, it took me a gazillion years to finally land on what I should be doing after twisting around down some inappropriate (and expensive) for me paths. I've always had a sense that I'm here to do something, and I'm so glad I've found what that something is.

I think my biggest...not regret, not disappointment...wish is that I had not listened to the messages in my head that said "you are not good at math" and "you don't like science" -- because guess what? I CAN do math. Dare I say, I even LIKE it. And I DO like science. Had I known this long ago, my path to the really satisfying "should be doing" part of my life would have been much, much shorter. However, there's no reason to dwell on this now, other than to make sure that my kids have access to the fun of math and the fun of science, and let them make career plans based on real information rather than unhelpful (and unhealthy) BS internal messages.

------

There is more to say on this general topic...but I'll have to tackle it later. Birthday kick-off awaits!

On my way back

2011-09-20T22:16:00.001-07:00

Since June 2010, I have written more than 200 pages and read more than 100 journal articles. I've birthed a general exam and an 8 lbs baby. But I've missed my blog, and I'm ready to write about something besides aphasia, working memory and cognitive inhibition. Seriously.

I'll do that before the end of this week.

Time to post

2011-06-27T22:10:00.000-07:00

Breakthrough!

2011-04-12T19:08:00.000-07:00

Last post I wrote about my plan to follow a gestational diabetes eating plan. That is still true, though I haven't made much progress. However, I now know why that is true, and a whole lot more.

Years ago, when I worked for a medical center and had access to all kinds of specialists, I saw a neuropsych about my foggy brain. For years I had experienced nearly daily brain fog and trouble initiating, especially noticeable at work. Though I rarely talked about it, I described it to a few people as akin to writing with a really dull pencil, or even closer, being asked complex questions after waking from a dead sleep. Bottomline, I struggled to maintain focus on my work, reading, and sometimes had trouble figuring out what I was "suppose" to be doing in the given moment. I was also tired, even groggy, more than I thought was normal. The neuropsych listened to my (brief) description and said, "Oh, you have dysthymia. You'll probably need to be on anti-depressants for the rest of your life." (Dysthymia is chronic, low-grade depression.) It kind of made sense. What I had been experiencing were symptoms of depression, except I didn't actually feel depressed. Anyway, she wrote me a prescription and sent me on my way. Oh well -- better living through chemistry, right?

I took a low-dose of anti-depressants for a while, maybe 6 months to a year. They did seem to help my mental agility and fatigue, but I also felt a little too amped sometimes...a little like being over-caffeinated. I eventually decided that the brain fog was better than agitated productivity.

Since then, whenever I'm seeing a new clinician and am asked about my medical history, I always have included "dysthymia." And as a grad student, it felt almost comical to devise ways to trick my brain into doing what every grad student does most, read, think and write. I felt really slow at these fundamental activities about 80% of the time. Once in a while (maybe once a month), I would have a whole day of clarity. Otherwise, my strategy: suck it up, persevere, drink coffee.

Flash forward to a few months ago. I saw the endocrinologist about my gestational diabetes, and he mentioned the 'slight hypothyroid' note in my chart. I told him I had been borderline hypothyroid, as discovered by my naturopath after August was born. He wrote out a lab slip and said with some gravity, "Make an appointment with me 6 weeks post-partum. We need to talk about this." Okay Doc, whatever.

At six week post-partum, I showed up in his office, complete with my latest thyroid labs. I figured he would give me the low dose thyroid med my regular doctor had prescribed a couple years ago and I'd be on my way. Instead, he looked at me and took out a blank sheet of paper and a pen.

"You see, most people use this range to diagnose hypothyroid. See how broad it is? Well the American Academy of Endocrinologists have recommended a narrower range. See how your numbers are at the outside of that range? Now, even more recently we have research to show that the range should actually be even smaller. Given this, see how you are way outside the range. And the way your labs look, you probably have some trouble with mental function, like concentration and fatigue. Your previous thyroid meds wouldn't have addressed this at all. So I'm writing you the following script..."

I don't know what my face was doing through this description, but I finally managed to say "Doctor, you have just described my entire adult life."

I am now about a week and a half into my new prescription, and I think it's making a difference. Unfortunately, my infant-related sleep deprivation surely confounds the effects, not to mention I'm not doing much heavy mental lifting since I'm on maternity leave from school. But I think I feel better. I'll really be able to tell when I get a few more weeks out. Also, as it relates to my eating plans, it will also impact my metabolism. And I believe it will make a dent in the intense sweet cravings that have surfaced in the last month (intense enough that I am blaming my post-partum down-drifting thyroid function).

I'm excited to see what happens next -- though I wish I would've figured this out before my general exam.

GD eating plan

2011-02-24T19:22:00.000-08:00

In my last post I wrote about a number of surprises which came from Baby Theo's delivery. One surprise I neglected to mention was the little gift which manifested over the course of the entire pregnancy. In short, this gift was a dark cloud with a monstrous silver lining. Or so I believe now.

During my third trimester, I got the dreaded gestational diabetes (GD) diagnosis. Ugh. In some ways this was more challenging on a day-to-day basis than the pre-eclampsia had been with the previous pregnancy, as it required constant vigilance. And, it required some interesting eating since, remarkably, I had not gained more than 2 pounds over the course of the pregnancy when I received this diagnosis. I wasn't interest in eating much at all throughout the pregnancy, so I had to work with the nutritionist to eat enough calories, and the right calories. It's a pain to force yourself to eat when you don't want to.

Initially I lost weight. You can imagine how nervous this made me when you're suppose to put on weight during the 3rd trimester, not lose it. I went down 4-5 pounds in the first few weeks following the diagnosis. Then I got the hang of eating extra of certain foods to put the weight back on. All told, when Theo was born, I probably was about 2 pounds over where I was in my first months of pregnancy and before.

Alarming? For some, yes. Because I had been carrying extra weight before the pregnancy, I wanted to gain no more than 20 pounds total. When it was clear I wasn't gaining any weight, my doctor scheduled a few extra ultrasounds to make sure baby was on track. Since he was gaining weight and length appropriately, my doctor wasn't too concerned (though kept an eye on me).

Flash forward to delivery...in the course of a morning I lost 15 pounds. Two weeks later, I was down another 10. My pre-pregnancy jeans needed to go to Goodwill as they were too baggy. What the hell?! Can this be healthy?

Of course, now that fully accept what the doctor has told me, I am ecstatic about this little gift that came with Baby. And I don't want to squander it. In fact, along with the "free" weight loss, I also received a potentially powerful tool in getting rid of the rest of the excess weight: the Gestational Diabetes eating plan. I seriously think this could be the key for me.

Here's the deal -- the recommended eating plan given to pregnant women with GD is all about consuming a limited number of carb grams, spread out evenly throughout the day. If you are someone who eats pretty healthy -- i.e. sufficient fiber, veg, fruit, good fat/lean protein and little to no processed foods -- there is really no need to count anything other than grams of carbs.

Recommended grams of carbs per meal/day:
Breakfast -- 15-30
AM Snack (2 hours after breakfast) -- 15-30
Lunch -- 30-60
PM Snack (2 hours after lunch) -- 15-30
Dinner -- 30-60
Evening Snack (2 hours after dinner) -- 15-30

Details:
1. I was told that I should eat at least 175 grams of carbs for the day, but that wasn't always doable. Ultimately, I tried to eat at least 150, and I had a few occasions of eating up to 200. The way the carbs are spread out over the day forced me to make good and thoughtful choices (and since we stock our kitchen with 'good choices' anyway, this wasn't that hard). As a result, I think my diet was more balanced and healthy than what's typical for me.

2. I had to eat a meal all at once...meaning I couldn't eat a little bit, then go back 30 minutes later for a little bit more. This is because I had to take a reading of my blood glucose 2 hours after starting a meal, so I didn't want to get a high reading just because I finally finished my breakfast an hour or more after I started. Basically, this means I would make myself eat the entire meal within 15-20 minutes.

This was probably the most challenging aspect of this regimen, as I realized I rarely sit down and actually "eat a meal." With the exception of dinner, my meals are usually larger snacks spread out over an hour or two. While this may work for some, I think it probably leads me to eat more than I need. Forcing me to figure out the entirety of what I want to consume in one sitting, and then eat nothing for the following 2 hours was really weird, and difficult. But as a result, I ate more mindfully, and therefore less.

ANYWAY, without making this post a magnum opus, I am going to do a month of this eating plan now that I am not pregnant and see what happens. I want to see how I feel and see if I lose an appropriate amount of weight during the month of March. As part of this process, I'm thinking I'll spend some time blogging about the experience, what I've learned and am learning, mostly for my own use and motivation. And, as usual, writing about it and putting it out in the universe makes it so.

Baby Theo

2011-02-17T18:57:00.000-08:00

Now that it's been four weeks since his arrival, I am finally realizing I need to write up a few things about newborn Baby Theo before it's all a distant memory.

Baby Theo's arrival was thankfully a really smooth operation. Compared to August's birth, there was no pre-eclampsia, no hospital bedrest, no induced labor, no baby-in-distress delivery. In fact, there was much less physical trauma than I expected, even though major surgery was involved to get this baby out.

However, smooth does not mean it was a surprise-free birth.

Surprise 1: They had me walk into the operating room and climb up on the table myself. Quite different from being wheeled around the hospital for a week prior to a rush into the operating room.

Surprise 2: Theo did NOT arrive with a shock of black hair like his sister. Ray and I spent a few days after the birth in bewilderment over our "generic white baby." We had counted on nothing being the same between the two kids...except lots of dark hair.

Surprise 3: Recovery from surgery was incredibly fast...less than half the pain, discomfort and general side effects following surgery than I experienced last time. All I needed was some ibuprofen for a few days once home, and then even that wasn't necessary. I felt ready to do stairs after about day 2 at home as well. Amazing.

Surprise 4: (Not for the faint-hearted) I asked my doctor to walk me through the tubal ligation while I was on the operating table, which she did, followed by showing me the removed portion of tube. "It looks like penne!" she said. And it did. A flattened, smallish piece of penne pasta. Wow--I was expecting something more like spaghetti!

All in all, it was an incredibly positive birth experience for someone who had so much go wonky the first time around. I'm grateful. And I'm super pleased with our very hungry and vocal little guy, who has already gained about a pound in his first month with us. He not only eats well, but he also sleeps well, and I'm crossing my fingers that this trend continues!

Justifying dessert

2011-01-04T20:18:00.000-08:00

Ray and I have regular conversations about healthy foods and eating habits, maybe even more than most people. We are pretty active in making good food choices and acknowledging what trips us up. However, what does one do when one really wants to try recipes for things that one should not eat. I'm talking about dessert. And just recently I realized that I've been stockpiling (both physically and mentally) about 5 dessert recipes over the last 3 years or so.

1. Panna cotta -- This dessert always looks so good when they make it on tv...even though it seems more or less like jello-fied custard. I think I tried it once but it was runny and disappointing. Must attempt again.

2. Banana pudding (DONE) -- Every time Alton Brown or Ina Garten or whoever makes this, I run to the computer, find and print the recipe. Alton Brown even makes his own Vanilla Wafers to go with the pudding. Anyway, I have several variations in my recipe stash...and have attempted none. (Feb 14 -- Well, it was good, but not that good. Not adding it to my permanent dessert line-up...like item 5.)

3. Zabaglione/Sabayon -- Oh Italy, why do you come up with so many good things to eat. I had never heard of this dessert before having lunch with my old boss/favorite priest Terry several years ago, who loves everything Italian...especially the food and drink. He insisted I order it to "share" and then made me eat the whole thing. No joke. Thankfully it was very worth it. I haven't had it since. I'm not sure I've seen a recipe for this custard/fruit dessert, but I WILL find one. And it will probably take a few attempts to get it right -- it seems challenging.

4. Pavlova -- Ina Garten does this nifty meringue shell/roasted berry thing that looks so good. And pretty. And doable.

5. Chocolate loaf cake -- I'm throwing this one on the list even though I have already made it 2-3 times. It's a really simple chocolate cake that you make like you're whipping up some banana bread, and somehow it puts other chocolate cakes to shame. Seriously. It's that good. Leave it to Nigella.

Oh, I have one more in the "already done it" category:

6. Ginger ice cream sandwiches -- A bunch of years ago, I saw a recipe for ginger ice cream with chocolate cake. Intrigued, I borrowed a friend's ice cream maker, and bought some of those Famous Chocolate Wafers or whatever they're called. The ice cream came out great, wasn't too hard, and was TO DIE FOR sandwiched between the wafers. I've been pining for a redo ever since.

I am not someone who believes in 100% deprivation, so I will attempt these desserts sometime this year. In fact, I kind of want to perfect the ones that are hard, so I have them in my arsenal of go-to desserts for company and occasions. I'll just need to really pace myself on the "perfecting" process. Maybe one a month is a good pace to set, and shared with a couple willing taste-testers.

New year

2011-01-01T16:25:00.001-08:00

Today is the first day of 2011. Trippy. There are 18 days between me and birthing a small boychild, if not sooner. There are about 170 days of "time off" before I'm officially back at school. There are probably 75 loose pages of recipes sitting in an inbox next to my desk. There are way way more photos that have been taken, but not uploaded, much less printed, from the last year or more. There are about 10 cupboards and closets that need a good sorting out (see last post). There are XX pounds to be lost after boychild arrives, which I'd like to take care of in the first 162 days post-partum. There are more than 100 cds that I have yet to upload to my computer/iPod. There are at least 10 friends that I haven't seen in far too long. And there is one cell phone that needs to be replaced in the next 48 hours, before it cramps my style any further.

The list

2010-12-15T06:40:00.001-08:00

Now that the big adrenalin rush of "Birth 1" (as I've been calling it, i.e. general exam) is over, I now am faced with the unusual prospect of f.r.e.e.t.i.m.e. before "Birth 2" (small human). That is until bedrest is ordered.

I had made several appointments (dentist, car stuff, etc) for this week thinking bedrest was imminent, but behold...it may not be. So, what's a girl to do?! I haven't had this kind of time-off since right before I went back to school in 2005. In essence, now is the time to do all that organizing and throwing out of stuff that we basically shoved into closets when we first moved in. And hopefully get rid of a lot of stuff.

- clean desk/office (why is this always at the top of the list?) (basically done)
- new phone (done)
- finish baby room (almost done)
- organize hall closet (done)
- organize upstairs hall closet (done)
- organize downstairs bathroom closet (done)
- take books to bookseller (done)
- organize pantry shelves
- clean out trunk (done)
- organize kitchen cupboards
- organize office closet
- organize journal article stash (ugh...don't even know where to begin on this as it'll require new file cabinet. Best leave this at the end of the list.)

Academic marathon

2010-11-04T20:50:00.000-07:00

Dear blog,

I'm sorry to neglect you. I don't mean to, but all my writing energy is being expended elsewhere right now. I'm taking a moment now to document this point in life so I won't forget it.

On Oct 20 I started my general exam. I'd been prepping for it since July. What this means is a grand synthesis of my subject area, boiled down as written responses to 3 questions. I cover about 70-80 papers and book chapters, and then some. The final document will be around 100 pages, which my committee of 4 will read. Then they'll ask me questions about it and the papers I've covered in an oral defense that's about a 2 hour process. This is the hardest part of a Ph.D. program. Once you're through generals, you're considered a doctoral candidate, and you just have a dissertation to go (which is rigorous, but not nearly as demanding as the exam). I don't know if that's how the exam is at every school, but I think so.

At the moment, I am more or less done with question 1, and yesterday I started question 2. I will work on question 2 for another 10 days or so, then I'll hopefully be ready for question 3. That's how my timeline is constructed anyway. I am trying to turn my exam in to my committee by Wed before Thanksgiving, and I'm hoping to defend it by Dec 6. Will I make this deadline? I'm cautiously optimistic.

What makes me nervous is that I'm really pushing to be done before I get to my 33rd week of pregnancy, as that's about the time when I went on bedrest last time. The deadline is very real. However, as I keep telling myself, if I don't make it by then, the world will not end. I can finish my exam after the baby arrives and I return to schoolwork. I am taking 6 months off, but will go nutso if I don't have something intellectually meaty to do. In any case, things like this work themselves out. But it would be really really good to be done before my leave.

Also, I don't want to rush things and not be ready for the defense. This is where people fail. I know 2 people who failed. It's not pretty, though both of them were able to address the committee's specific concerns and get through it. (Actually, I don't know if person 2 has had a chance to do this yet, but I assume she'll be okay. She's very smart.) It would just really suck to fail. It would take the wind out of my sails right before going on leave, when I'll naturally take a mental hiatus. Scary.

All I can do is keep plugging away, keep focused on the immediate part of my writing, and take chunks out of each response every day. I have about 40 pages written already. Easy does it. (Well, maybe not easy...slow and steady?)

Future Mountaineer?

2010-09-07T12:25:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, August and I went on a hike up to Twin Falls in the Snoqualmie area. I'd read it's not a difficult hike, but there is some elevation gain (and loss, and gain again) after starting as a mostly flat trail. I figured we'd just go as far as she could take. Every time I asked her if she'd like to take a break, have some water, snack, etc, she simply said "no thanks" and we kept going. I worked up a pretty good sweat...I certainly didn't want to stop for a break if she didn't! She did the entire hike, up and down, rocky terrain, 3 miles round-trip overall.

Along the way, we saw lots of kids...some of them older than her being carried in backpacks, or stopping for a rest. Several adults were huffing and puffing up the switchbacks. A number of people on the trail remarked about her stamina.

It's hard for me to believe she's only 3. We are again reminded that she is very physically able + stong-willed/focused kid.

Pony, Montana

2010-08-28T20:37:00.000-07:00

Saturday, August 21st
We arrived at the cabin in Pony later in the day than we expected. The drive from Spokane to Pony was abut 7 hours or so, including the hour for lunch and several stops for bathroom/drinks. Driving in to Pony was a surprise. I didn't know what to expect, but I guess I didn't expect the town to be nestled at the foot of some beautiful grassy hills -- but then again it is at the edge of the Beaverhead-Deerlodge Forest. It's easy to see how Richard Hugo, and later Frances, were both inspired to write here. Its stunning surroundings and fascinating ghosttown-iness are food for the imagination.

The cabin itself is quite humble...one big room, with two bedrooms, a bathroom and laundry room off of it. The hot tub reminds me of hillbillies -- a large wooden barrel with a stove attached. Just behind the cabin is the creek (I think it's the North Willow Creek), giving the cabin continuous background music of running water.

The cabin has stone-composite tiled floors and the thickest towels I've ever felt. August's room has a twin bed with a trundle underneath, and Ray and I's room has a saggy doublebed -- we roll toward the middle when we're both laying down.

Waiting for us were a loaf of fresh homebaked wheat bread and some wrapped packages of elk meat and deer sausage in the fridge.

Sunday, August 22nd
After a leisurely morning (deer sausage scramble for breakfast!) we head south to Ennis to find the "real" grocery store, since the one in nearest town Harrison is not much more than a convenience store. Most of the way there (26 miles) we wonder if it'll even be open, given it's Sunday. Thankfully it is, and we wander around filling our cart with cabin-meal staples.

In the afternoon, we walk through Pony. The old 2-story brick bank building (now abandoned) is at the end of our block, where it intersects with the main drag. We walk down the street, past the only really thriving business in Pony -- the Pony Bar. We see people! We continue on to the antique store (open Sun - Wed, 12-5) and pick up a couple curios. Then back to the cabin to play, make dinner, and possibly try out the hot tub barrel. Ooops, rain storm -- we'll attempt it some other night.

Monday, August 23rd
On today's agenda are the Lewis and Clark Caverns, and then the Museum of the Rockies at MSU in Bozeman.

Today's big learnin'...August can go HOURS without using a bathroom. We decided against the 2 hour hike through the caverns because of the lack of potty, and then she refused to use ANY potty until we were back at the cabin hours later. Seriously--6 hours sans toilet. That can't be healthy. Anyway, back at the Caverns we walked through the visitors' center, watched the movie about the Caverns, and did a micro-hike and picnic in the woods. Got some great pictures from way up in the hills looking down toward the Jefferson River.

About 30 miles east was Bozeman and the Museum of the Rockies. The dinosaurs were pretty darn cool, though we were a bit confused about the Triceratops...both Ray and I had vague recollections about reading/hearing something recently "debunking" it in some way. Hmmm...oh, Wikipedia--. Anyway, August liked the museum okay, but was more interested in things like the "furry ropes" and standing on platforms than any of the exhibits. We also watched the "Dinosaur Chronicles" movie, which ranked "scawy" in her book.

Tuesday, August 24th
Stayed "close to home" today by driving down to Virginia City...which I had vague recollections of visiting as a child. On the way there, we had some excitement (according to small person) by witnessing an overturned cement truck. The town itself is a pretty cute Western-style town, with lots of stores preserved from the 1800s heydays, and some horse-drawn carriages to boot. We had lunch and walked around, and then let August pick out a few pieces of candy at the candy store. Thrills!

After driving back to the cabin for a nap, August and I drove up to the trail behind Pony. On our drive up, a small black bear ran out in front of the car…and since I was driving slow he ran way ahead of us for a bit, then ducked into the forest. Cool. We walked a little ways up the trail, which paralleled the creek for a bit, and took us up through grassy and rocky terrain with some brush a trees here and there. August tuckered out pretty quickly.

After dinner, we finally tried out the hillbilly hot tub...which took eons to heat up. August and Ray loved it. Me, the cold water lover, was too cold (must be a first/pregnancy thing).

Wednesday, August 25th
Big day today -- we drove down to Yellowstone, about 1.5 hours south of us. We first stopped in at the Wolf and Grizzly Discovery Center in West Yellowstone (not sure it was worth the $10.50 each), then drove into the park. Had a picnic and a wade in the Madison River, then drove to see the geysers...impressive blues and oranges. Then to Old Faithful, the visitors' center, watched the Yellowstone movie, snack, and back to see Old Faithful blow again. We picked up a little wolf for August, which was quickly adopted as a near-equal to Teddybear (!), and a little black bear for baby bro. On our drive back, we got several nice views of roaming bison, and some distant elk. Long, hot day, but absolutely worth it.

Thursday, August 26th
After our long Yellowstone day, we stayed close to home again…spent the morning up at the trail at the edge of the Forest, and came across some cowboys packing up to head into the forest to repair a dam. There was one guy on a horse, leading 3 other pack horses, and then two other guys on dirt bikes. Real deal cowboys, and surely infamous Pony bar regulars. Rugged. Then we drove around Pony a bit, back to the cabin for lunch, nap. Walked to the little picnic park in Pony, took more pictures and back before dinner and packing. Nice easy day before big drive out of Montana.

Friday, August 27th
Loaded up the car and left by 10 am. Drove all day, and once again (like several other days) August refused to use any bathroom, demonstrating impressive bladder skills (again, like 6 hours!). Arrived in Spokane and at hotel, and had a much appreciated swim. Dinner at Perkins...interesting. Our waitress seemed to be running the whole place, with a smile on her face. Big tip.

Saturday, August 28th
One more swim, breakfast, and on the road...we're ready to come home.

Getting all domestic-y

2010-08-09T22:18:00.001-07:00

Mid-_____ crisis

2010-07-28T19:52:00.000-07:00

Today it hit me...I'm having a mid-general exam/grad school/what should I do with my life crisis. It's left me feeling unmotivated and tired. I just want to lay on the couch and watch Top Chef.

But I can't. Niggling at the back of my mind is the reality that I have about 70 papers to get through in the next two months. The reading schedule is tight and there's not a lot of room to dilly-dally. What's made it so hard is that I'm reading very broadly initially and then more narrowly later. I planned my reading this way because I hadn't yet decided how I wanted to focus my exam. Now I'm realizing that I'm making the entire exam prep much more difficult as I have to read much more (and much more thoroughly) than I would if I knew exactly where this process is taking me.

I've decided to take the next day or so and read ahead to the more narrow papers I've selected. What I'm looking for is an idea or set of ideas that will trigger the "that's it! that's where I want to go for my dissertation!" The problem is, I've set up some criteria that makes this not so easy: 1) I must be enthusiastic about it, 2) it must lead to a greater goal that will impact rehabilitation in some way, rather than just some esoteric line of research that's light years away from clinical application and 3) it must be feasible, i.e. I don't want to explore an impossible question that's difficult to test.

Here's what I know so far: I want to explore cognitive aspects of aphasia. I'm especially interested in non-linguistic cognitive functions which support language production. I think attention is interesting, but it's hard to test (does not meet #3). Working memory is a more concrete cognitive function that incorporates attention, but I don't know what about it I'd want to test (not sure about #1). There's also short-term memory, which relates to the processing aspects of smaller components of language, but that literature gets a bit tedious (in my experience so far). However, it would tie into my mentor's work beautifully, and the models of short-term memory are very highly regarded. It would be a solid foundation. I'm also interested in visuospatial aspects, but it's too far removed from anything clinical (#2), as well as inhibition and decay during cognitive processing, but that gets into the priming literature that I'm not that fond of (#1).

What I want to happen is to read some specific aphasia/cog function papers in the next day or so, and remind myself what I find really exciting. There is not much worse than forcing yourself to read reams on a topic that's no fun. In my book, if the study isn't fun most of the time, then it's not worth it to do a PhD. And there are so many topics I find interesting...I just need to land on one of them. Once I find my focus, it'll be much easier to drink from the proverbial firehose.

Okay, here goes.

Save for posterity

2010-06-19T16:01:00.000-07:00

Not many things come to mind when I think of what I'd hate to lose (inanimate object-wise) in a fire or disaster. I have this wood airplane propeller that I'd like to keep around, and some artwork, and photos that aren't uploaded to Snapfish. But what I really want to preserve for all time...the music from our wedding. Specifically, the mix that we played right after our ceremony.

We had a small wedding, only about 50 people or so, and it really was more like a cocktail party on Lake Union with a ceremony in the middle of it. The only live music performed was my brother singing Ave Maria before the vows-n-stuff. Now that I wish I had a recording of...but maybe I can ask him to sing it for me some other time. Anyway, we (mostly me) put together a mix of songs for after the ceremony that is still my favorite "mixed tape" to this day, partly because it's a good mixture of Ray and me. I've often worried about the cd going missing, or of my computer getting stolen and poof! the mix is gone. I know there are more sophisticated ways of preserving this mix, but for now, it's gonna be in list form.

Maui -- Iz (Israel Kamakawiwo'oe)
Heroes -- David Bowie
Guantanamera -- unknown (borrowed from Brad & Enrique's wedding mix)
More Than This -- Bryan Ferry
Love is All -- Jimmy Cliff
In Your Eyes -- Peter Gabriel
He'eia -- Hapa
Portland, Oregon -- Loretta Lynn & Jack White
Etoile -- Alicia Dara
Island of Wonders -- Nelly Furtado
Selma -- 3 Mustaphas 3
Alone Again -- Love
I Gotta Woman -- Ray Charles
Sweet Sensation -- UB40
I'm in Love with a Girl -- Big Star
The Floating Bed -- Elliot Goldenthal (Frida Soundtrack)
Happy Together (in French) -- Turtles cover
Wild Horses -- Sundays
Time Tough -- Toots and the Maytals

The Sahara of creativity

2010-06-15T20:39:00.000-07:00

In the last several months, I've thought often about how little I've posted to my blog...and how little I have to say here. It's not that I don't want to post, but I am creatively barren for the time being. It's seems all my energy is going into keeping my head above water while navigating the school and toddler-rearing rivers. And let me tell you, these are some strong currents and white water. Exhausting.

So...I guess I'll continue to do my most creative writing in my manuscript (now in hack-and-edit mode, as I've got to trim 7 pages for journal submission) and in organizing my calendar. Lame, but necessary.

Photo of the day

2010-06-07T21:07:00.000-07:00

Pre-dissertation project

2010-05-31T20:23:00.000-07:00

Better than counting sheep

2010-04-19T19:56:00.000-07:00

I can't tell you how many nights I've put myself to sleep imagining these schematics!

Easter and Zoo

2010-04-05T10:20:00.000-07:00

Spring Break project

2010-03-23T09:36:00.001-07:00

It's spring break this week. I've put my manuscript to bed (let's call it a long nap) for 5 days so I can tackle something entirely different: the house. Actually, the basement is the primary focus of my attention. By the end of the day on Friday I would like to have done the following:

Tuesday
1. Clear out the junk in the rec room, or at least sort it into an orderly-ish pile in the middle of the room.
2. Purchase paint and other supplies.
3. Buy dining room table.

Wednesday
4. Prep room for painting, i.e. tape off
5. Prime and paint the basement

Thursday
6. Paint the basement

Friday
7. Install shelving
8. Buy cabinet for basement
9. Organize stuff on shelves, in cabinet

Here's what I have to work with...trying to not hyperventilate...

SUNDAY UPDATE
Mission: complete

New house, same problem

2010-03-10T10:34:00.000-08:00

Yesterday marked the four-month anniversary of us moving into our new house. Almost every day I say to Ray, "I can't believe this is our house!" and with good reason. It was a durn lucky find (no, make that ridiculously lucky find) in our price range, and luckier still that the legal mess surrounding the house dissipated through the course of closing. Miraculous really.

So last November we moved in to this beautifully preserved 1920s brick Tudor, more than 3 times the size of our former home. Lucky ducks! Yet, four months later, why does the house feel like we're still living in 1000 sq feet? I noticed last night that many surfaces of our main living space, the main floor, is piled with books, art projects, toys. There is always an item or two of toddler sized clothing on the living room floor, and toddler sized pajamas crammed next to pillows on the couch. Package of diaper wipes on the coffee table. The dining room does not yet have a dining table, but instead is the parking garage for the ride-on-top firetruck, the tricycle, the trains, and the doll stroller. Our kitchen table, where we eat most of our meals, seems to permanently keep glasses and napkins from the previous meal.

Since we're not in a position to give our child away, and we are (mostly) responsible adults, this has got to stop. We have closets now, cupboards, a basement for godsake! We have places to put all this stuff if we just took the time to do it. Granted, weekdays are a flurry of activity from dawn to dusk and beyond, but if I could just carve out a few minutes to get a grip on our house, it would make a difference. Neither Ray nor I like clutter, but somehow we're overtaken by the idea that we're too exhausted to pick up. To be honest, Ray does more than his share, but as for me...I cry foul! Suck it up, you slacker!

This morning, I sort of had a some time when I didn't have to study, so I've been picking up, reorganizing cupboards that we hastily loaded when we first moved in, and trying to make sense of the mess. Now if I could just stop writing about the problem, and get back to it...

Rediscovering Carl

2010-03-01T16:21:00.000-08:00

Hardwiring

2010-02-14T08:29:00.000-08:00

This has been an interesting week. Very interesting. I say this gratefully, as this week should have been dreadful. "Devastating" even. But it wasn't, and that's what's made it interesting.

A week ago I was 10 weeks pregnant and suspicious that things weren't all well. I laid low per doctor's orders on Monday, and had an ultrasound on Tuesday. It confirmed our suspicions--the pregnancy was a no go. It seems embryonic development stopped at about 6 weeks, even though I continued to feel pregnant through last week.

Since then, I've been thinking a lot, as one does when one goes through a traumatic physical and emotional event, but my thinking has been more about my reaction to the event rather than the event itself. Curious. I even worked out an equation, as geeky as that sounds, to try to figure out my reaction. Here's why:

Aside from the physical symptoms, I feel emotionally as if I've just spent several days crying. I feel emotionally spent. However, I have not cried, nor do I think I will. It's as if I'm having all the biological responses of grief, but few of the actual feelings of grief. I think it's because I was very aware of the high rate of miscarriage, and maybe knew on some deeper level that this pregnancy wasn't going to happen. And I think it also has to do with my inherent perspective on reproduction.

I think grief after a miscarriage has two components: one is hormonal and the other is cognitive/emotional. While I'm experiencing all the hormonal responses, I guess I had a relatively small percentage of cognitive/emotional investment in the pregnancy. My body is doing some kind of biological grieving (a mid-brain response?), my conscious mind is a little disappointed, but otherwise okay.

A lot of this probably has to do with my decision to have children in the first place. A co-worker and I used to laugh about our differences: when she saw a baby she'd have an immediate tug-tug of the heart. I'd have a similar response to dogs, but not babies. My decision to have a child was maybe more cognitive and less biologically driven than other people. I've never felt a yearning for a baby, and I can't say I've ever felt the biological clock ticking.

I love my child (and will love any subsequent child, if it's meant to be) as much as the next parent. But I can also envision my life very differently, without children, a faster-track career, lots and lots of travel, more writing. It's not that the other life is more or less appealing, it's just another life, one that I chose against. And if we do not have another child, elements of that other life might be part of my life as it unfolds in the next few years as my child grows and becomes more independent. We'll see.

Ultimately, I feel very fortunate to have the opportunity for a life that fits me so well, to have choices about the experiences I'm interested in, even if some of those experiences aren't as biologically hardwired as the next mom or mom-to-be. And I'm betting that lots of other women feel like me, though it doesn't really fit into the stereotype of our gender.

School lunch

2010-02-03T19:00:00.000-08:00

Ray and I were reminiscing about school lunches over dinner this evening. Actually, reminiscing might not be the right word, as some of the lunch selections from elementary school were suspect at best. For example, Ray described "taco burgers" where the school was too cheap to buy taco shells or tortillas, so instead slapped some ground taco meat, cheese and lettuce on a bun. ("Oh, we had that...it was called Sloppy Joe's." "No, not Sloppy Joe's...we had that too, but the taco burger was different.") He also described a cubed-turkey curry dish that sounded worse.

I'm thankful we had neither of these selections in our school. I often longed to buy school lunches since I brought my lunch most days. However, when it was chili and cinnamon roll day ("Huh?! Chili and cinnamon rolls? I don't get it.") I would sometimes persuade my mom to give me the .75 or whatever to buy lunch. Chili and cinnamon roll day was the be-all end-all of tasty school lunchtime.

Anyway, all this reminded me of lunchtime during middle school. After eating in the cafeteria, which doubled as the stage in the auditorium, we would walk around the 1st floor halls in one big circuit. We'd pass by this tiny school store. Out of this little sliding window you could buy maybe 3 kinds of candy, pepperoni sticks, and I think pens, pencils and peechees, but that's it. Classmate John R. worked at the store at lunchtime, and it was a well-known fact that he'd hand out pepperoni sticks to his friends. I think he had a lot of friends at lunchtime.

Anyway, at the end of the year, whichever teacher was in charge of the store figured out that the pepperoni supplies just didn't match up with pepperoni sales. John reportedly had to pay back more than a thousand dollars in lost pepperoni profits.

I wonder if John R. is still embarrassed by this middle-school misstep, or if this was the beginning of a career of white-collar crime.

A rare opportunity

2010-02-01T09:02:00.000-08:00

It's mid-quarter, which means I should be in the thick of it. Today is a rare exception: I've finished my take-home midterm for stats (due tomorrow), and I'm waiting to talk to my study's originator before moving forward on my manuscript. Sure there are journal articles to be read and writing to be done, but I haven't had a break since before we moved 3 months ago. Christmas was a break in a way, but when there's a toddler about, it's not actually a break.

(Did you hear all that rationalizing going on? I'm feeling guilty...but I will persevere!)

So here I am, Monday morning, with a "personal day" plot in my head:

1. Leisurely get ready for the day. Write blog post. Make bed--maybe lay in it a bit first.

2. Take bus downtown. Go to Le Panier. Drink coffee. Read 1 journal article. (Ooops--how'd that get in there!)

3. Wander around. Buy 1 or 2 cheap interesting things. Eat something somewhere.

4. Go see The Young Victoria at 1:25 pm. Possibly eat movie popcorn (gasp!).

5. Bus home. Pick up toddler.

There are worse jobs

2010-01-13T17:14:00.000-08:00

That title makes it sound like I'm making a comparison to my job, which isn't the case. I love my job--it's the best job I've ever had. But today I really felt for a woman who really has a crappy job.

I was taking the bus home from school today, which always involves a transfer downtown. I had about 3 blocks to walk, which I did quickly as it was raining cats and dogs, as it had been all day. A woman was standing on the corner at 1st (no, not that kind of woman!), adorned in gortex and big rubber boots. "Hi, how are you today!" she basically yelled at me cheerily.

"Wet," I said. Then I saw she was holding a water-proof clipboard type contraption.

Thankfully she saw I was sans-umbrella and practically running to the bus stop, so she didn't proceed with her survey, petition, fundraising request, or whatever it is someone pays her to do standing on the street with a waterproof clipboard.

But can you imagine? She'd probably been in that exact location for hours, in the rain, having to maintain a cheerful attitude, and identify the few (if any) pedestrians who might be inclined to stop and talk in the pouring rain. Ugh. I sure hope this wasn't a commission-only job.

Happy 2004!

2010-01-02T21:09:00.000-08:00

I'm having a hard time grasping the beginning of a new decade. What the heck? What happened to the Aughts (is this how it's spelled?). I seriously feel like it should be about 2004, my real age is 28, and I'm planning a fabulous vacation to Sienna.

But in real life, we're a day away from starting winter quarter, I'm 28+10, and I've got a few things I'd like to accomplish in 2010. In one word (each), my new year's resolutions are:

VEGETABLES.
I'm planning on eating more vegetables, and enjoying it. Ray started us off by making some amazing "mac-i-roni" (as August calls it) with butternut squash. It was delicioso.

RELAX.
I'm planning on letting go of both the petty worries and things I cannot change. I have already experienced some success with this and it's only day 2 of the new year.

STRETCH.
I'm planning on going back to my old morning routine. Not having an 8 am class this quarter will help.

That's all I think. It's what I want to do. Let it all be done.

Christmas Eve Eve

2009-12-23T22:37:00.000-08:00

Oh the neglect

2009-12-21T16:10:00.001-08:00

After spending 2.5 hours trying to convince a toddler that yes, really, she needs a nap, I have a few moments to myself to contemplate my blog neglect. No better remedy...

Jana and I ventured downtown today to take the kids on the carousel at Westlake. They seemed to enjoy it, though Karsten wasn't his usual spunky self. Since the kids weren't really into it, and Karsten seemed to be sick, and everyone was hungry, we skipped the gingerbread houses at the Sheraton and went straight to the
all time best place for pho...Pho Bac on Jackson near 14th. Pho crack, seriously.

In the next 3 days I have a bit of a list to accomplish, but leisurely as I'm on break from school (really!): pick up Santa photos, some last minute shopping at Barnes and Noble, Trader Joe's, and a few other spots which will remain nameless. Also on the list for the next few days: excursions with Nana and Grampy, Christmas Eve lunch at the taco truck, and 5 pm service at St. James.

Back to normal

2009-11-18T21:52:00.000-08:00

I think we're seeing light at the end of the craziness tunnel. I've neglected my blog for long enough, and yet, what to write? My brain has been totally saturated by school and moving and toddlerdom that I haven't had any bloggable thoughts lately. Hmmm.

How about the final weeks of 2009: There are six weeks left of the first decade of this millenium. (Ray pointed this out the other day and I nearly fell over.) I think these next few weeks are going to be really great. Here's why:

1. I have a very structured schedule for working on my pre-dissertation project manuscript and related conference proposal. It seems quite doable, and so therefore fun. I think my paper is going to be accepted at this conference, as it's a good study. Just a little nervous that I can present it in a way that lives up to its theoretical origins.

2. If I do well on the next two neuro exams, I can skip the last exam on the 11th, thus ending my quarter a few days early.

3. I'm excited to have all of the week of Dec 14th blocked out to write (really, this is part of #1).

4. We are hosting Thanksgiving for my family at our new house...and since they haven't seen it yet, I can't wait to show it to them.

5. We're planning a end-of-quarter/holiday/housewarming thingy for the weekend of Dec 12-13. I'm thinking pie, cheese, fruit, and hot spiced wine.

6. We're planning on a big Christmas tree this year. Woohoo!

7. Front door is aching for a nice green wreath.

8. I AM taking the last 2 weeks of December off. August and I will be looking for lots of fun activities for those weeks.

9. Diane suggested adding another rockstar to my committee. I love having a great mentor with fantastic connections.

10. The furnace we need to replace is actually working great. Hoping that continues for at least a few more months.

11. Ray picked up my old tv from his dad, so now it's set up in the basement by my exercise bike, just waiting for a cycling/movie watching occasion.

12. Sheila's annual chocolate party -- can't wait. (And another good reason to be happy about #11.)

All set, pretty much

2009-11-09T06:09:00.000-08:00

The boxes are 98% packed. Just a little food left to bag up. Art off the walls, nails removed. A few boxes still open waiting for last minute random stuff. Movers arrive at 8:30 am. Should I shower? Did I sticker all the boxes? Ooops ran out of colors. What do I do with this thing? Oh, just throw it in box.

Hate to wait

2009-11-03T15:43:00.001-08:00

I've always been terrible at waiting. If something is wrong, just tell me now so I can work out my Plan B. I'm awful at anticipating the unknown. Welcome to life.

Once again we are waiting to hear about our new house. Nothing dire probably, everything appears to be moving forward "as far as we know," but we're waiting to hear back about the filing of some paperwork that should clear title. Title must clear...will it?

The plan is to have the keys by Friday morning (yes, this Friday) and rent the place until we close, possibly on the 16th or at least some time in November. I am not going to be confident (i.e. relaxed) until we a) have the keys in hand and b) sign our names on the dotted line. Of course this is real estate 101...but geez is it ever an emotionally draining process.

If worse comes to worse, we will have the movers pack our stuff into storage containers, stay with Sooz for a few days, find an apartment and unpack the essentials, and find a new house. It will be challenging but it will be temporary.

And that's why I should not be so stressed about all this...it's all ultimately temporary!

Halloween

2009-11-01T15:56:00.000-08:00

August dressed as a Thomas (the train) Princess, because trains, tutus and tiaras naturally go together.

We had 75 trick-or-treaters this year. The last two hit paydirt: at 9 pm we set out a shoebox FULL of the remaining loot, blew out the pumpkins, but kept the glowy cauldron going. Not more than 10 minutes later we heard two kids giggling and whispering how much of the shoebox goods they should take. They took about 2/3 of the candy and ran off. They could've had the whole thing...no one else came by.

My sister had a whopping 522 at their house. Impressive!

You study...what?

2009-10-23T21:23:00.000-07:00

When people ask what I do/study -- even people I know well -- I'm a little stumped as to what to say. If I give them the short-n-sweet, they respond with a glazed over look. If I give them the long-and-longer, well...it's pretty much the same look. Now that I've had a year or so of practice, here's how I've boiled it down: start with one word, and if they want more, go to a phrase, then a sentence, then a paragraph. For example: "Rebecca, what is it that you study again?"

Neurolinguistics.
...
Neurological disorders impact on language.
...
Aphasia, which is a disorder which often follows a stroke and impacts language processing.
...
Aphasia. You see, after a stroke, some people have one or more lesions in their brain which impair their ability to understand and/or produce language. While their speech musculature might be completely fine, they just can't connect concepts with words to a greater or lesser degree.
...
(And if they really want the whole story -- I've given this answer maybe once -- add to the above:) More recently, some people believe that aphasia co-occurs with impairments in attention and working memory. My research looks at how attention and working memory might play a larger role in word finding difficulties, the primary characteristic of aphasia, than we think.

Are you still with me? No? Oh well.

Getting closer

2009-10-19T19:52:00.000-07:00

Just a moment to post. House purchase appears to be moving forward, despite sellers' legal hurdles. Had inspection today:

Inspector: "You found something really special here."
Ray: "Yeah, my wife loves old houses."
Inspector: "Well buddy, you hit the jackpot."

Stay tuned. Some day I will get back to regular blogging.

Happy thoughts

2009-10-01T20:44:00.000-07:00

The house we're trying to buy may slip away due to bankrupt agents without integrity and large financial institutions without a soul.

Expecting the best, preparing for the worst, and meanwhile working on thinking happy thoughts.

Bittersweet

2009-09-27T10:14:00.000-07:00

The For Sale sign went up in front of our house a few days ago. Yesterday our real estate agent told us about a call he received:

Caller: "I'm calling about the house for sale."

Agent: "Which one?"

Caller: "The one with your name on it?" (chuckles)

Agent: "The house on 12th?"

Caller: "Yeah, why are they moving?"

Agent: "Well, they're just ready for something bigger."

Caller: "Oh. I don't want them to move."

Given our agent's description we knew exactly who the caller was: our 140-year-old next door neighbor, who shares his tomatoes, climbs up his ladder to help us harvest plums, and who lost his wife about a month ago. While he's a man of very few words, I guess he's likes us as neighbors as much as we like him.

Meanwhile, we're putting in an offer on this house abut 6 blocks away. The seller went bankrupt, so our offer has to be approved by the court, hopefully by midweek. Crossing fingers!

Unraveling the fetal position

2009-09-13T21:26:00.001-07:00

I started writing this garbled, stressed-out post yesterday about buying and selling houses, but since I wasn't quite coherent, I gave it up. Now I have some clear perspective on that matter, and on its context in life.

Part I
We are selling our house. We are hoping incoming first-time buyers taking advantage of the current tax credit will jump on our house with enthusiasm...or so says our real estate agent, who seems to be right about quite a lot of things. While scrambling to get our house ready to list and show in the next week, we've also just dipped our toes in looking for a new house and -- BAM, The Opportunity comes along. It's a not-quite-complete remodel, way under our price range, nearly 3x the size of our current home, 1925 Tudor, and dead center of our life in West Seattle, geographically speaking. The banker started crunching numbers on something called an FHA(203)k, which gives us a new mortgage plus some cash to complete the remodel. As soon as it was approved (bless him, working this Sunday morning), we learn the seller (bank repo) will not entertain contingent offers. Damn.

Meanwhile, and against my better judgement, I started to get really attached to the idea of this house (the space! the price! beautifully remodelled!) and really unattached to other things in our price range (why up our monthly mortgage payments that much for just a little more space?). Sigh...the house will very likely be gone by the time we have an offer.

Part II
I went to cheer for Team Stomp This today, day 3 of the 3-Day Walk. Incredible, inspirational...more than 2,000 people gave up 3 days to walk 60 miles for breast cancer research. And Ms. Stomp This herself, Sheila, was right there, beautiful big smile, spring in her step, even though this has been the most physically and emotionally harrowing year of her life. We cheered, were teary and huggy and wired on the good juju fueled by the event, not to mention that she only had less than 4 miles to go to the finish line.

Among the walkers were a few firefighters who had committed to walking in full fire paraphernalia. While I read about this in the paper, it wasn't until I was standing in the sun for an hour that I realized how uncomfortable and exhausting this must be for these walkers. But there they were, walking by, one of them carrying an axe. I hope they were drinking a lot of water.

Anyway, what all this reminded me about is what's really important...life, health, family, good friends, fun, challenges, taking risks and care of each other. There will be lots of houses eventually dubbed The Opportunity, but there is only one Sheila, and one son Ollie squirting the walkers with water as they walked by, and one husband Jason keeping everyone up to date on when and where to cheer. And there are just a handful of firefighters crazy enough to walk 60 miles in the heat in their black, fire-retardant suits and heavy sloping helmets for a good cause.

So I will uncurl from the fetal position, wait for the right house to come along, and be grateful...for so many things.

Inspired

2009-09-09T22:45:00.000-07:00

We went to see Julie & Julia tonight, which was truly delightful, and inspired a lingering appreciation for...1950s-era pumps!

Bruno Magli's Aulia

Taryn by Taryn Rose's Candid

Pour La Victoire's Jacqueline

As for Ray, I think he's still thinking about Bœuf Bourguignon.

Birthday appointments

2009-09-02T22:07:00.001-07:00

I hate it when I get out of sync with blogging. It's like how other people feel when they haven't gone to aerobics in a few weeks. Heck, it's how I feel when I haven't gone swimming in...awhile. Must rectify.

This week I've been thinking about a couple of things, but nothing terribly pressing: selling/buying new house (not pressing, but big), scheduling subjects for study that wraps in less than a month, configuring new laptop for lab, realizing that I think my data analysis so far is actually (dare I say it) meaningful, blaming fake sweeteners for bad mood on Monday, and thinking about how I'm going to celebrate my birthday with a much needed day OFF.

This shouldn't be a matter for much contemplation. Lots of people take days off, especially on their birthday. I am notorious for scheduling myself out of time off with what seems, at the moment anyway, urgent business. I once had a 2 week vacation that dwindled down to 3 days because I thought I was needed elsewhere. This is hogwash, and a bad habit. I need to be nicer to myself...so this year it's going to be different. I am going to trick myself into a day off by scheduling my day with things I want to do. And it's all going into my calendar, so when I try to schedule a meeting or project or whatever, I'll be like, "Ooh, looky here, I guess I'm all booked up that day."

Here are some preliminary thoughts on birthday "appointments": early swim in Lake Washington, drive to Salish Lodge for pancakes or stand in line at Salumi for lunch, massage, facial, matinee...ah, I had another thought when I began this post and now I've forgotten...go to Le Panier and write a short story while people watching, take a fun and frivolous one day class (on what I don't know). Make a movie, visit 5 places that begin with the letter M, take a photo every hour on the hour...something fun and silly and slightly creative.

"Appointments" cannot be anything on the run-of-the-mill to do list, no household projects or shopping or errand running, but fun or engaging experiences, outdoors if possible, maybe a beautiful drive, relaxation required, 99% laptop free, and no cancellations.

How about them...

2009-08-16T15:19:00.001-07:00

Blog therapy

2009-08-09T10:58:00.000-07:00

I'm sitting at Uptown Espresso grading papers and realizing: I need to reduce my workload-induced anxiety. I find I can't enjoy things I would normally enjoy (grading papers for instance, believe it or not), because I can't ignore the tension associated with wondering how I'm going to get everything else done (most of which I would enjoy too, if I just had sufficient time).

It seems silly that while my life is filled with activities I really love to do, I just can't enjoy them because there are just too many. (For example, I'll be cutting this post short...)

Hmmm, need to work on this. Can't reduce the load so much, so I'll just adjust my attitude. Somehow.

Recipe themes

2009-08-06T21:51:00.000-07:00

Just grabbed my recipe in-box stack, which has probably been accumulating for more than a year, to find a specific recipe for a black bean/corn salad I made a while ago. Of course it was on the bottom of the pile, but it was fun to leaf through and realize how many recipes are not-so-distant relations. My food/cooking tastes pretty much boil down to:

Grilly sandwiches
Vegetable soups (roasted, Italian wedding, spicy, tomato, asparagus)
Salads (roasted butternut squash, roasted tomatoes, etc.)
Brownies
Chicken with green chiles
Chicken with ginger, honey, garlic, sesame oile, soy sauce, or some such combo.
Pumpkin (bread, biscotti, rice, custard, pancakes, you name it)
Banana pudding, bread
Gingerbread
Asparagus
Apple tarts
Fried green tomatoes
Hot spiced wine

Trip highlights

2009-07-24T09:58:00.000-07:00

We're back in town and I'm still exhausted. I think I've been fighting off a cold helped along by a late night flight home. Anyway, we had a marvelous time which included the following highlights:

- Phenomenal Latin food at Emiliano's in Gainesville. We went here twice. Ray had some outstanding BBQ. Sangria was also excellent.
- Had the best Gazpacho ever while in Atlanta, and will attempt the recipe myself sometime this weekend.
- Disney World was incredibly fun.
- Swam near dolphins while staying on Tybee Island. At one point they were about 15 ft away. Incredible.
- Did not make it to Mrs. Wilkes in Savannah as the line was too long for August to endure, but Ray bought her cookbook.
- Architectural tour of Savannah was interesting, and tour guide Jonathon's knowledge was very deep. Highly recommended.
- Learned at Fort Pulaski that the Union soldiers named their cannons after generals, while the Confederate soldiers named their cannons after their moms and sweethearts.
- Southern mosquitoes LOVE me (more of a lowlight than a highlight)
- I have new home layout/floorplan ideas after staying in 3 different homes and one condo. And a new appreciation for the Ranch and Frank Lloyd Wright.
- Ate some of the best pizza ever at Satchel's in Gainesville.
- August learned how to climb out of her pack-n-play a few days after we arrived. She also climbed out of her crib the day after we returned home. Sigh.
- Renewed appreciation for chilled white wine.
- When you have the absolute "best" mattress at home, it spoils you for all other mattresses. My back is slowly unkinking. Love love love Tempur-Pedic.
- Waffle House pecan waffles rock.
- Did stop at Sonic and got a blue coconut slushy, which I quickly realized would make me sick, so dumped out. Oh well.
- Really dislike that GPS lady. Directions consistently idiotic.
- The only way I'll eat crab is fresh, boiled, and untainted by anything but a bit of dipping butter.
- Hmmm, what else. Maybe I'll post a few photos...

Pilgrimage to Mickey: success!

2009-07-12T19:19:00.000-07:00

I've pretty much believed it was a bit premature and silly to bring a young toddler to Disneyland/world. But when faced with our choices for outings this weekend, and rain in the forecast for the beach, we said "well...why not?" The decision was fortified by August's new and enthusiastic interest in Mickey Mouse (which we think may have started at daycare).

Last night we scoured the website, picked out a handful of toddler appropriate activities, mapped our driving route, and packed up the hats and sunblock. We headed out about 8 am this morning, aiming to get there by 10 am. By the time we parked, took the tram to ticketing, boarded the ferry and made it to the Magic Kingdom, it was probably 11 am. But no matter, we knew we'd only see a small portion of the park, and there's no pushing it with a 2-year-old in tow.

We walked down Main Street, saw the last part of the show with Mickey in front of the castle ("Mickey Mouse!"), then went in to a cafe in Tomorrow Land for an early lunch. By the time we finished, a parade was trotting by ("P'ade!...Mickey Go!"), which we watched for a minute from a distance before going to Fantasyland and Mickey's Toon Town (home to most of the toddler-appropriate stuff). We tried Mickey's PhilharMagic first (too loud and strange for a 2-year-old...the day's misstep), then Small World (absolutely August's speed). From there it was Pooh's Playful Spot for some running around time, then Toontown Hall of Fame, Mickey's Judges Tent to meet the mouse himself, and Minnie too (which we feared would scare August, but she absolutely loved it). Then we rode the Disney World train around the park and realized that it was naptime. We headed into some Pinocchio-themed eatery, where we had some cool drinks and snacks while August conked out in her stroller for a good hour. Meanwhile, the afternoon monsoon had started, but that didn't stop Ray and I from taking turns running over to the Haunted Mansion (not quite as cool as I remembered it, but of course I was 12 the last time). Both soaking wet, we used the umbrella to shield a now awake August, and ran through giant puddles to get to only Must on the list for the day: Monsters, Inc. Laugh Floor. Basically it was a comedy routine MCed by Mike Wazowski, which of course August didn't understand, but she loved seeing the characters "live" and clapping with the audience. I think it was the highlight of her day, followed by meeting Mickey and Minnie as a close second.

Since it was now almost 6 pm, we decided to try our luck on the Pirates of Caribbean, another favorite from my previous trip. While the rain was gone, there was no line, and Ray and I again took turns on the ride, while August ate dinner and gleefully and inadvertently smeared peanut butter on her new Mickey doll.

Walked back to the main entrance, took the monorail to ticketing, tram to parking, and drove back up to Gainesville. Whew.

So the lesson we learned is: Yes! If you're in the vicinity, do Disney with a toddler, but set your schedule and expectations low for the day. Pick out only a few things to see, allow for nap/downtime at some nice air-conditioned eatery, and pick out one "big kid" ride to do on your own. Since we forgot snacks in the car, we were grateful for healthy choices like PB&J, apple slices, grapes and strawberry yogurt (though I fear a chicken nugget or two crept into our meals today).

All in all, it was a truly fantastic day, definitely worth the cost of the tickets...especially considering August giggled most of the way back to Gainesville.

Bit of the South

2009-07-06T10:26:00.000-07:00

I'm starting to accumulate a list of things we must do during our FL/GA odyssey, per recommendations and a few self-generated ideas. Here's what I have so far:

1. Sonic drive-in
2. Waffle House: order pecan waffle and cup of coffee; note Southern slice-of-life.
3. [DEL Terrell's BBQ] Emiliano's here in Gainesville (twice/check)
4. Get some boiled roasted peanuts
5. [DEL Possible day at Gulf Coast beach] Disneyworld (check)
6. Drive to Charleston
7. Cumberland Island
8. buy some Gator gear (check)
9. listen to some live bluegrass (rained out)
10. architectural tour of Savannah
11. Mrs. Wilkes Boarding House for some Southern food
12. Antique market in Savannah

Launch to Florida

2009-06-27T07:29:00.000-07:00

Today's the big day. The optimistic part of my personality is trying to overcome the catastrophistic part of my personality. Flying with a toddler might not be pretty, but then again, it might be just fine, and either way it'll be over by midnight tonight. Heck, I can endure anything for a few hours, right.

New little toys and books are wrapped, lollipops stowed, dvds selected, teddybear at the ready. Blanket and monkey are stashed in luggage, along with Bob's ABCs and Elmo's bedtime book. Three swimsuits, 2 sunhats, 1 blowup beach ball...check. Sunblock? About 4 kinds.

Oh yeah, I'm going to Florida to work! I've packed my stats workbook and a million articles related to my project, 3 pairs of sandals, and a sweater for the overly air-conditioned VA building. Pencils, post-its, laptop.

This morning I just need to pack last minute items, set up Twitter mobile, and take August to the park for some energy burn-off. Flight's at 2 pm.

Summer checklist

2009-06-19T14:29:00.000-07:00

Every summer I think about what I'd like to do before fall rolls around again. Then Jana posted her 38 things before 39 list, and that lit a fire:

1. Lunch with Ray at Armandino Batali's
2. Replace back door
3. Replace deck roofing
4. Goodwill
5. Put bike in trunk of car for some semi-commutes to school
6. Outdoor concert with August
7. Experience Sonic drive-in
8. Go to Savannah!
8a. Go to Paula Deen's restaurant?
8b. See about driving up to Charleston
9. Find one bit of the South to bring home with me.
10. Get inaugural flight with toddler out of the way
11. At least 4 open water swims in Aug-Sept
12. Meet up with friends/family at Lincoln Park
13. Shoe/museum outing with Jana
14. Make a new book for August's 2nd birthday
15. This is a toughie: do not get consumed by pilot study which peaks in Aug-Sept
16. Take August to swim at Madison Park beach on a sunny afternoon.
17. Look into/attend kiddie concert series at Seattle Symphony.
18. One NW weekend away.
19. Paint trim.
20. Work on flexibility

Clearing the backlog

2009-06-17T12:43:00.000-07:00

The last week or so has been rather hectic, and I keep thinking I'd post the latest, but it just never happened. While Ray loads the rental truck for the dump and I wait for my fish sticks (yes, fish sticks) to come out of the oven, I'll do a little blog-cleanse, twitter version:

Rental car! I love driving rental cars, even this strange little Pontiac whatever-it-is.

DSW—ever been there? It’s like a paradise for the shoe addict. Some cute bags too.

Fever. August has a fever, and it looks like her 3-day holiday with Nana is on hold, or maybe cancelled. Ugh.

You know, you'd never know this kid was sick 30 min post Tylenol.

No sleep last night with feverish toddler in bed with us. And I had plans to get so much done today.

Trip to Nana's resurrected. Doctor thinks this fever thing will run a mild course. Meanwhile I am behind!

Fever gone, August-Nana meet up successful, home to get cranking on my prep for tomorrow’s meetings. But ey am I tired.

Frantically considering what “essentials” need to be ordered to arrive before launch to Florida in 9 days. Car seat table/tray on its way.

Study break

2009-06-06T21:14:00.000-07:00

Feliz Anniversario

2009-06-04T22:01:00.000-07:00

Here's to many more years, and maybe even a sailboat.

22 (months) going on 22

2009-05-30T22:15:00.000-07:00

August insisted on wearing these boots today.

Packing

2009-05-25T22:35:00.000-07:00

Once in awhile I have a good idea. About 10 years ago I typed up a list of everything I need for a weekend away. I put the list in a sheet protector and I still use it to this day. It's somehow (geekily) quite satisfying.

Off to a conference to be inspired...and to get a lot of work done!

(Speaking of inspiration...thanks for the photo idea, Jane.)

Ill-equipped

2009-05-24T12:53:00.000-07:00

Every once in a while (actually, more frequently than that), I encounter a typical daily-life situation in which I fail miserably. Common sense flies out the window, and I'm left contemplating my ineptitude.

Case in point: Today I was studying (quite productively) at one of my favorite study spots. A guy comes in asking about a black Volvo in the parking lot. He'd hit my car while pulling in to the parking space.

So instead of being slightly miffed and focused on the problem at hand, I think about how great it is that he came forward to admit his mistake. Ray's car has been hit 2 or 3 times with no note, no nothing.

We walk out to look at the damage, and he gives me his insurance card. Instead of writing down his insurance information, I thank him for coming forward, and simply jot down his name, address, and ask for his phone number. Then I give him my name and number...on a piece of paper I need to keep, which means I have to rewrite it. Does he need this? I have no clue. Do I need to write down his insurance company and policy number? Of course, but I don't think of this at the time. Do I need to make a note of his license number? Of course, but I don't think of this either.

Before he leaves I thank him again. As he drives off I think of all I should've done, and realize, yet again:
1) I don't need to be friends with everybody.
2) I do need to think/act like a responsible adult.

At the same time, I'm kinda glad that I can still be grateful for the integrity of others even in the midst of situations where I'm at a loss. Now if I could just get some focus and common sense during these situations, we'd have a winning strategy.

Until then, I need a chaperone.

Thankful for sun

2009-05-17T18:13:00.000-07:00

What a spectacular weekend. After a pretty intense couple of weeks, this weekend felt like a much needed break. I have done zero schoolwork (aside from an hour or two of grading) and that's okay. This is the quiet before the end-of-quarter craziness, and it seemed best spent relaxing.

Some highlights from this weekend:
- Brunch at mentor's place
- Scoured and organized the pantry cupboard
- W Sea farmers market...got some advice on planting tomatoes and basil
- finally cut out and mulched over the last bed in the front yard
- Ray did a great job of getting rid of a winters-worth of fallen branches and dead shrubbery
- Aug and I swam at the pool
- August's first "mine!" proclamation: book called I Like To Share

I think I feel ready for the week, and whatever comes next, namely...

- conference in Keystone, CO
- Finals
- Write pre-dissertation prospectus (eeek) by end of finals week
- Prep for co-teaching summer quarter
- One week neuroplasticity seminar
- Fly to U of F, Gainesville, FL
- Three weeks of research (i.e. self-directed stats bootcamp)
- Five days of fun at Tybee Island/Savannah, GA before heading home
- Four weeks of teaching

In Memory of Sammy

2009-05-06T16:55:00.001-07:00

Sammy Sosa Chowderhead, formerly Suzie Q Von Crown, was born May 6, 1993 to sire Tobias Xavier II and dam Thompson’s Stormy Weather of Grapevine, Texas. She lived in Texas with her family for several years before moving to the Pacific Northwest. Upon the installation of white carpeting, Sammy became an “outside dog,” a situation which did not suit her. Recognizing this, a vigilant neighbor suggested a better home for Sammy.

Sammy was adopted by Rebecca and Andy in November, 1998. In her new home she made friends (as best she could) with resident cat Ramon. Sammy enjoyed playing with her stuffed toys – carrot, elephant, and an assortment of hippos – and liked to gather her “babies” (i.e. socks) in a pile in the backyard. In addition to walks around the neighborhood, Sammy enjoyed trips to the beach, running after birds, and rides in the car. Sammy loved food, but would to ask permission for a loitering sandwich or waffle on the kitchen counter before gobbling it up.

Sammy was a fierce watchdog and simultaneous tail-wagger, who would bark non-stop upon the arrival of a guest, and then be ready to go home with them 10 minutes later. She defended her family, even Ramon, but would yield to the slightest hint of assertion. For example, if someone, say Ramon, wanted her beef rib bone, Sammy would immediately acquiesce.

Sammy kept a brave face through many trials over the years: ACL surgery, several mastectomies, a severe bacterial infection, and more recently seizures. Throughout it all, she was a source of joy and comfort for her family – especially Rebecca, Ray, August, Andy, Grammy, and when convenient T-ko and Ramon. She will be dearly missed.

Please sign the memorial guestbook (i.e. comments).

Bloglettes

2009-05-02T19:16:00.000-07:00

Weather: It's rainy and windy outside. Perfect night for movie watching.

Today's question: Anyone have a great 20-min workout dvd (cardiovascular)?

Current tv addiction: Ina Garten/Barefoot Contessa

Current weekend project: finding elastic material for my boots mod. Girdle material didn't cut it with the cobbler.

Current weekend school-work: grading 39 papers

Tomorrow's highlights: Sustainable West Seattle and play with Baby R.

Tonight's dinner: quinoa pasta with pesto and talapia and salad

Tonight's movie idea: Pillow Talk with Doris Day and Rock Hudson

Quick thoughts on Monday

2009-04-19T22:07:00.000-07:00

I'm sure I'm only the 20,000th person to blog about the suckage of Mondays. I have not been a Monday-hater in the past. Frankly, I really didn't see what all the fuss was about. But now I get it. I am tired on Monday, and my brain just doesn't usually cooperate until sometime Monday night or Tuesday morning. Why? Lord knows. I get the same amount of sleep as most nights.

So what can be done? Here's what I propose:

1. No meetings or classes shall be held on Monday
2. Work will commence as usual (barring item 1), except not until 10 am
3. Mandatory lunch out with friends.
4. Since Mondays will be catch-up day, we are encouraged to get work done while listening to nice music and wearing comfortable clothes.

That's all I've got for now.

Pre-mud shot

2009-04-12T19:58:00.001-07:00

(Sorry, Lloyd, no post mud shot, though I wish I had taken one.)

I showed August this picture.

A: "Girl? Girl?"

Me: "August, that's you!"

A: "Dress?"

Me: "Yes, you're wearing a dress."

A: "Audus!"

Me: "Yup, that's August."

Beware

2009-04-06T10:55:00.001-07:00

Sheila, a chocolate insider, turned me on to these terrible things. They're awful -- milk chocolate, marshmallow, orange jam filling. Who thought this was a good idea? Thankfully they're imported and only available at Cost Plus World Market and other similar places, otherwise I'd have to look at them and contemplate, er...not buying them for weeks on end.

Disgusting. Try to steer clear.

My legs hurt

2009-04-05T21:33:00.000-07:00

Not really, but do remember when you were a kid and your legs ached for no apparent reason? "Growing pains," mom said. "It just means you're getting taller."

So apparently I'm getting taller, in a sense. I've got stacks of cds around me, and I'm randomly plugging one in after another and ripping them to my computer. But it makes me sad, or melancholy, or angsty. While I'll be gaining space on the shelves, not to mention clearing up those damn cluttery jewel cases, I won't be able to visually scan my cds in the same way, finding the right band or singer or musical style that fits my mood, the recipe, the day. And what if my computer gets stolen? Or what if I don't have enough memory for all of them (I think Ray said this was not at all an issue). And this is going to take me for-frickin-ever to finish. Like months and months. Maybe even a year or more.

"You could just leave them as is," Ray said, trying to be helpful.

"No," I sighed. "I've gotta do it eventually." And so I sit, organizing my life and space along with my music, listening to 3 Mustaphas 3 and trying to keep this silly project in perspective. But it still aches...

Once I rip the cd, do I keep just the cd in a case, in it's original case, get rid of it entirely (sell it to Easy Street)? Should I do this in some kind of order so after a few weeks I remember what's already been ripped?

This is ridiculous. I think I just need to go to bed and figure this out later. Right after Dido.

The only way August would eat breakfast this morning

2009-04-01T07:46:00.000-07:00

It's spring!

2009-03-29T21:32:00.001-07:00

Why I'm mad at BSG

2009-03-21T12:02:00.000-07:00

Last night was the final episode of Battlestar Galactica, which Ray and I have watched faithfully since season 1. I'm not much of a sci-fi fan, but I am a fan of good story-telling, character and suspenseful plot development. It's been a good ride, a great ride by some accounts. Until last night.

Rather than geeking out about the specifics, let me instead use an analogy:

Let's say there's a store in your neighborhood that has really good stuff, maybe something like Trader Joe's or Archie McPhee's. You frequent this store not only because of the good stuff they carry, but also because they have regular raffles with pretty decent prizes...an iPhone, trip to Zihuatanejo, a years-worth of free coffee from your favorite coffee house, etc. Over the years you enter these raffles, not just because you're digging the prizes, but the store also promises to enter you into the Grand-daddy of all Raffles. This is such a Big Deal that they start advertising it a couple years ahead of the actual drawing, and build quite a bit of attention and suspense. Oh boy, I can't wait to see what the prize is! And yeah, I'll enter every raffle that comes along just to up my chances! Woohoo--can't wait!

The day of the Big Deal Raffle arrives. Everyone waits expectantly inside the store. Tension is palpable. The store owner stands on top of the check-out counter, and shakes the sack of raffle tickets. The crowd goes hush, while the owner sticks his hand in the sack and pulls out the winning ticket.

"Before I announce the winner, I'll first tell you about the prize. It's amazing!"

"To this lucky winner," he says, waving the clutched ticket, "...A COUPON GOOD FOR 25%-OFF ANYTHING IN THE STORE!"

He reads the name. No one claims the prize.

Saturday, posing as Friday

2009-03-14T07:35:00.000-07:00

It's been a grueling week. Studying and schoolwork (TA responsibilities) have taken up every free moment, with the exception of 7-8 pm when we eat and relax. I stay up late to study, then get up early to keep studying. When finals are over I'm not sure I'll know what to do with myself. Oh wait -- I'll be grading papers and finals. And working on a proposal. But at least it will be much less tension-producing.

Anyway, my three thankfuls for this week:

1. So thankful for spousal unit who supports my weekend study strategy and ups his daddy time with August.

2. As much as I like my teaching and TA job, it will feel like such a luxury next year to focus on research. I'm grateful there's grant money to fund this part of my program.

3. Chocolate cake. I am not suppose to be eating this (gluten! sugar! chocolate!), but damn it it's been a rough week, and I have the BEST recipe for a simple chocolate loaf cake a la Nigella:

1 cup soft butter (or 1/2 butter and 1/2 applesauce; it's just as good)
1 2/3 cup brown sugar (I used less than this, like 1 1/2 cup)
2 large eggs, beaten
1 tsp vanilla
4 oz bittersweet chocolate
1 1/3 cup flour
1 tsp baking soda
1 cup + 2 Tbs boiling water

Preheat oven to 375. Melt chocolate. While cooling, cream butter/applesauce and sugar, then add eggs and vanilla. Beat well, then fold in chocolate. Sift and stir in flour and baking soda bit by bit with the boiling water until you have a smooth and fairly liquid batter. Pour into greased or lined 9x5 loaf pan. Bake for 30 min, then turn heat down to 325 for 15 more minutes.

Let cake rest in pan on cooling rack before trying to get it out. Better yet, just leave it the pan. I shove it in the fridge at the end of the day, and it's even better the next day.

The best teachers

2009-03-11T20:59:00.000-07:00

Today I had to turn in draft 2 of my "teaching philosophy" for my instructional development class. I wrote a theme statement and some supporting bullet points, but then decided to take a different approach. I thought about the teachers whose classes I enjoyed the most and who made an impression with their teaching style. I immediately thought about Dr. M. as I have often in the past when thinking about great college classes.

While I was writing I thought: "Why not share this with someone who actually cares?" Dr. M. I mean. So I found his email address (he's still teaching though he must be getting close to retirement), and sent him my paragraph:

"When I think about teaching, I can’t help but recall some of the best teachers I’ve had over the years. In college, I took an Ancient History course taught by Dr. M. Dr. M. was passionate about the subject matter. He could lecture on Greece in 375 BC as if he’d lived there. He could discuss Plato like old friend with whom he’d just met over a beer. He’d lecture without notes and with such enthusiasm that he held his survey course of 300+ student in rapt attention, and we discussed The Last Days of Socrates outside of class like it was the latest and best piece of beach reading. I want to be a teacher like Dr. M.: incredibly knowledgeable, excited, charismatic, and able to bring the subject matter to life."

Dr. M. sent back a response this afternoon:

Well, this certainly makes my day, week, month and so on. The class was History 111, the first class in the Western Civ sequence, and one that I still teach and love to teach, especially since it generates comments such as yours. Above all, thanks for writing. It certainly makes the work worthwhile.

All the best,

GM

Pretend it's Friday

2009-03-08T17:59:00.000-07:00

...and that I haven't forgotten to post my Thankful Fridays entry until just now. Geez, I just started this last week and already I've flaked out.

1. Finished grading 37 papers, and now have evening free to study (this may sound fairly depressing, but it's...well, it's only slightly depressing). I'm so glad they're done!

2. An artist and army of middle schoolers descended on the lab this weekend to paint murals, and I stopped by today to help out. Our sound booth and one wall in the testing room look incredible! I even painted something, which I might post here if I ever get around to taking a picture.

3. I think this week is going to be a manageable week-before-finals. Busy, but not crazy.

How I covet thee

2009-03-05T11:45:00.001-08:00

I've been visiting these boots at Zappo.com for a couple months. They are mine as soon as I find $350 that's not allocated for bills or a new backdoor. They go perfectly with my permanent collegiate lifestyle, but not necessarily with my permanent collegiate budget.

Where the content?

2009-03-02T06:13:00.000-08:00

This here's a test post as currently my blog is displaying no content whatsoever. Maybe I should write something meaningful as well.

Hmm, meaningful, meaningful...it's 6:15 am and I got nothin'.

Hey, that seemed to work...it appeared on the blog in place of the blank space. But why did that happen anyway?

Thankful Fridays

2009-02-27T21:33:00.000-08:00

I'm going to try something inspired by Natasha...namely pointing out 3 happy things each Friday. This is a great exercise as I've been so busy I've neglected to blog or pull my head out of my--...well, I've been busy.

1. I'm happy that I just finished the stack of revision grading that I anticipated taking all weekend but instead it just took me part of this evening. Yay!

2. My mentor rocks.

3. You know what's darn good right now? Fresh squeezed grapefruit juice.

Oooh! I thought of another one:

4. Since I'm done with revision grading, that means I can use 2-3 hour study window this weekend to make a dent in ominous study pile. Yay!

5. Know what I just remembered? A former coworker used to talk about his sales job at a major tobacco company and how one of his rugged, course bosses use to call "BAM"s, i.e. Big Ass Meeting. Upon learning this, we employed this handy acronym in our office.

(Well that was quite a random non sequitur memory. I'm going to bed now.)

Normal people weekend?

2009-02-22T23:04:00.000-08:00

Burning desire of mine this morn:
Write in rhyme (you've been warned)
The topic of today is starting to gel
Quote-unquote Normal People

This weekend seemed so "normal" to me
I got things done, felt almost carefree
I didn't study on Friday night
Or Saturday night, or maybe even not tonight!

(Wait, I'm getting ahead of myself
I have to study sometime, or else...)
But the point I'm poorly trying to make
Is that I've had a quite fantastic break

I helped with painting, went to the store
Played De Blog for a minute or more
Watched BSG, a movie too
Went to the park with Augie-boo

(We never actually call her that
But sometimes my rhymes are really flat)
Speaking of Aug, she got a potty chair
She opens the lid and stuffs in Teddy Bear

Today: long awaited trip to Marlene's
Sheila and I will load up on healthies
"Gluten-free", "fruit juice sweetened", soy galore
And cheaper than PCC -- whatta store!

Later I'll work out my IRB -- fun
And think about research in the sun
(Have I thrown you? Here's a tease:
I'm going to Florida among the palm trees!)

Oh this rhyme just really sucks
It barely makes sense, even for ducks
I'd better stop now...I think I might
I'm only coming up with words that are shite

What I've learned today

2009-02-14T16:44:00.000-08:00

1. I love gifts of jewelry.

2. I like grading papers, but wish I could stop time to do it. Took me 3 hours for 10 papers. I have 25 to go.

3. I am humbled and impressed by the students. Reading these papers reminds me again of how, on one hand, our "native" culture produces so many coddled, spoiled and lazy kids. On the other hand, some of these students are here on their own from other countries, raising younger siblings while trying to stick to their parents' high expectations, or contributing to their families' finances, or raising children with disabilities while going to school full-time. It makes me wonder what we'll teach August about responsibility and being a contributing part of a family. Glad we have a little time to figure this out.

Comes with goodie bag

2009-02-10T09:49:00.000-08:00

I had this interesting dream last night...a school anxiety dream.

I was walking down a long cement corridor with a bunch of other people, but the corridor turned into a vertical tunnel. I had to carefully stairstep down a ladder while bracing myself against the wall. If I wasn't careful, I would fall the rest of the way down the tunnel (ouch), but if I just took things slowly and methodically, I'd reach the bottom safely.

I did reach the bottom safely, and here I received contacts at a discount, and a massive goodie bag filled with disposable razors and other toiletries and cosmetic samples. Score!

Let's hope a PhD comes with more than a few razors and free bottles of Prell.

HD 266.5!

2009-01-31T21:01:00.000-08:00

Thanks to Ray, who made sacrifices in the book department, we exceeded the House Diet goal by 16.5 lbs! Not only that, I think we'll have a nice chunk of change coming our way from Half Price Books.

I told Jana earlier tonight that I don't really notice a big difference in our house, but actually our dining and coffee table have been noticeably clutter-free for the last week or two. And when I get time to organize the shelves and cupboards we've cleared, I think it'll make an even bigger impact.

Ah, love a clean house.

Last day HD250

2009-01-31T14:03:00.000-08:00

This month has been so nuts I kinda forgot about my mission. I've eliminated 180.5 lbs so far, which means I have 69.5 to go. Let's see if I can finish this thing off in the next hour or two!

So far...

Phase I: file cabinet and office.......45.5

Phase II: clothes/shoes closet.......65 + 11.5

Phase III: linens and bathroom........31 + 1.5

Phase IV: bookshelves.......34 + 24 + 21

Phase V: August's room.......5 + 8

Phase VI: kitchen.......20

Phase VII: garage.......not gonna go there, argh it's terrible

Well, this is obvious

2009-01-28T21:33:00.000-08:00

If August thinks Ray looks like a pimpin' Ronald Reagan, then it's no surprise that she identifies herself as...

Mouths of babes yada yada

2009-01-22T18:17:00.001-08:00

August: Dada!

Me: August, what are you looking at?

August: Dada!

Me: The fridge? What's on the fridge?

August: Dada!

Me: I don't see Dada...

August: Dada!

Me: You mean this? Dada?

August: Dada!

Me: Really!? Ha!

Ray is gonna love this. But then again, I've always thought of him as a pimped-out Ronald Reagan.

Mixed bag

2009-01-19T20:48:00.000-08:00

So many things are happening at once.

I'm ecstatic about our new president.

I'm scared/hopeful for a friend.

I'm excited about research and the lab, and a little overwhelmed by the work ahead.

I'm concerned for my brother as he looks for a new job.

I'm sad for a friend who wants a baby.

I want to catch up on sleep.

I want to read fiction.

I want to read articles and be inspired about my project.

I want chocolate.

I want to have more time with August.

I'm happy with our little house and simple existence.

I want to find time for exercise.

I want to be peaceful and satisfied.

I'm grateful I can make lists like this.

Helping

2009-01-14T17:00:00.000-08:00

Today I've been thinking a lot of rambling disconnected thoughts about friendship, what makes a good friend and what ways do true friends support each other that actually help.

Here's what I mean: a friend of mine had a baby several years ago, and like her other friends, I dropped off a meal during the initial weeks of craziness. What did I bring? Baked ziti. It sounded fabulous at the time (heck, it is fabulous), but later I realized (mostly because this person told me years later) that everyone brings pasta to new parents. It's easy to make, transport, reheat, etc, so it's the go-to dish for everyone providing a meal to a friend. But as much as one appreciates the thoughtfulness and generosity of friends providing food and saving new parents from cooking tasks, this poor couple ate pasta for probably 14 days straight. What would've been really welcomed, my friend said and I fully concur, is offers to clean the house, run errands etc. Ah-ha!

Another friend's father was terminally ill several years ago, and she spent his final months caring for him. After he passed, friends would say "You must be relieved it's over" or "You must feel better that he's not suffering any longer." This was maddening to her: no I'm not relieved or feeling better because this whole thing frickin' sucks! People meant well, but these sentiments weren't actually helpful to her.

I suppose it's a very individual thing, but what I want to know is what do people actually need when they're in trouble. I'm told specific offers are helpful, rather than the generic "call me if you need anything." And from personal experience it's helpful to hear "I wish I knew what to say, but I'm just at a loss for words" rather than nothing at all. Anyway, a willing ear and a run to the store go a long way.

Wrapping up break

2009-01-05T12:12:00.000-08:00

Today's the first day of the new quarter, and for the next 45 minutes I don't have any obligations for the next 10 weeks (that's an exaggeration, but let's roll with it). Christmas break was fun, though not entirely relaxing what with the snow days and such. You know it's time to get back to real life when...

1. August woke up screaming on Saturday night. I went in to rock and console her. I tried to pick her up, but she resisted. I finally lifted her out of her crib and she continued to riggle and cry loudly. We sat down to rock...more crying. I asked her if she wanted Elmo, water? She kept crying, and finally screamed angrily, "Guh wah DAADAAA!" It was all I could do to keep from cracking up. Thankfully Ray came in moments later, and as soon as he lifted her onto his shoulder, she stopped crying and fell asleep.

2. Last night all August wanted to do is climb on the couch and watch the snow pile up. "Snow? Snow! Snow. Snow-snow-snow..."

3. This morning we had an end-of-break fireworks display. I put Aug in her high chair in the kitchen and then turned on the light. Snap crackle pop...sparks shot out of the overhead light fixture. I jumped about 3 feet in the air and Aug started to cry (luckily her high chair was a couple feet away). Needless to say we're getting a new light fixture. Ray found 2 live wires exposed in the old one. Yikes.

HD250, day 2

2009-01-02T14:35:00.000-08:00

I realized that I neglected to include the office in the house diet, so I'll add it on to Phase I. Also, it's easier to do some spontaneous purging in other phases, so I'd better keep a running total.

Are we having fun yet or what!

Phase I: file cabinet and office.......17 + 8.5 + 11 + 9 (18 lbs going to office)

Phase II: clothes/shoes closet.......50 + 2

Phase III: linens and bathroom........6 + 25

Phase IV: bookshelves.......21 (42 lbs going to office) + 13

Phase V: August's room.......5

Phase VI: kitchen.......

Phase VII: garage.......

House diet 250

2009-01-01T21:35:00.000-08:00

Here it is, January 1st, and I am commencing House Diet 250, wherein I will eliminate 250 lbs of stuff in our house by the end of the month. Here's how:

Phase I: file cabinet...this seems like an easy place to get rid of stuff. Maybe I can squeeze 10-20 lbs out of it?

Phase II: clothes closet...I bet I can get another 10-20 out here, if I include shoes.

Phase III: linens and bathroom...another 20-30 perhaps?

Phase IV: bookshelves...if I enlist Ray's help, maybe we can get 40-50 lbs.

Phase V: baby room...baby, what baby? This here girl is a toddler, and she doesn't need 10-20 lbs of baby stuff still stacked in her room.

Phase VI: kitchen...if we really suck it up, I bet we can get 20-30 out of here.

Okay, I wouldn't be surprised if I've wildly over- or under-estimated the poundage potential for each phase, but a girl's gotta start somewhere. Given these estimates, I've got 110-170 towards my 250 lbs goal. Hmmm. At this rate the garage will have to be included in the diet, but that will surely put me over the top.

Phase VII: garage...where I'll have to call in house diet enemas (Goodwill/Craig's List/the dump) and guess the weight of outgoing items...at least 200 lbs all by itself.

I am deciding in the next 4 minutes whether or not I want to start on Phase I. It's sitting right here, just 3 feet away from me. It's small, black, but boy is it a mess of "should-I-shred-this?" goodies. Ugh.

Ray's contribution: "We could drink all the alcohol and get rid of the wine rack...that would save a few pounds."
__________________________________
Update 1/1/09, 10:41:56 pm

HD250-P1 COMPLETE
Yield: 17 lbs.

Deep, thoughtful year-end post

2008-12-30T21:33:00.000-08:00

Um, I really need to come up with something to say for my last post of the year. Something profound, that sums up the spirit of 2008 for me in my journey of life.

Oh well. Can't think of anything. Instead, here's the latest:

We're leaving for my family's "Christmas" tomorrow morning, so I'm trying to pack, which right now translates to blogging and thinking about looking up some Margaret Cho stand-up on YouTube, as well as the the Inaugural Shoe Drive that I read about on the West Seattle blog (great idea!), and wondering if I'll be able to go back to 100% on my special no gluten/dairy/sugar/potatoes diet including supplements, tinctures and "daily fun" naturopathic routine (heck I've spent so much on this thing so far, I can't stop now!), all while wondering if I can permanently switch to the exercise ball as my desk chair even though my back gets fatigued (since after all that is the point, right, to work out my core?) which leads me to wonder if I should suspend my gym membership since I never made it last quarter since my scheduled got so crazy, but maybe this quarter will be different -- I sure hope so -- even though I've been "resting" my wonky hip, but it doesn't seem to have gotten any better.

But who cares about all of that...let's think about 2009. Next year I'd like to: host more dinners and parties at our house, do another one-mile open water swim with a better time than last year (shouldn't be hard to do if I can FLOAT), more picnics in the summer time, start writing a story, maybe take a drawing class if there's time (not likely), stick with the naturpaths plan for at least another 6 months, and (this is my favorite one)...eliminate 250 pounds of stuff from the house by the end of January (I just pulled that number out of the air, as it sounds challenging yet doable.) Doesn't that sound like a great idea?! I'll report back.

Christmas Eve

2008-12-24T08:32:00.000-08:00

Looks like we're staying home for Christmas, and rescheduling family Christmas for New Year's Eve. I don't know when we'll celebrate New Year's Eve. Maybe sometime in January. (Actually, that's not a bad idea. January gets so gloomy...)

Anyway, today will be a banner day anyway because:

- neighborhood taco truck gives out free tacos (hopefully we'll have time to partake)
- Trader Joe's French Truffles for $2.99
- frivolous baking
- possibly finding Santa somewhere for August photo
- Christmas Eve church service: I was really sad about not being able to go to midnight mass at St. James. I thought it would be years before August could handle 3 hours of sitting after 10 pm, but turns out they and other nearby churches have children's services earlier in the evening. Who knew! (Actually, most regular church-goers are certainly in the know, but us heathens must use the internet to discover such things.) I loves me some beautiful church music on Christmas Eve!
- making Risgryngrot rice pudding for after the service
- cleaning the house (maybe not the most fun part of the day, but necessary for full relaxation tomorrow.

Merry Christmas Eve!

Undeserved

2008-12-22T11:24:00.000-08:00

I hesitate to blog about this since one should not look a gift horse in the mouth. But it's been on my mind so I'll proceed.

I got a 3.9 in stats. I am stunned I got a 3.9 in stats. I'm almost ecstatic, except for the looming feeling that I don't deserve a 3.9 in stats. I went into the final with less than a 3.9 and knew I'd be thrilled if I could keep my pre-final grade, also realizing that it was more likely my grade would go down.

Day of the final came. As the TA passed out the test, she said "...don't hate me..." We laughed and said, "Why in the world would we hate you?" Then I started to read the test. It was tough. There were questions that I only spent cursory study time on, and a few I didn't understand at all. The problem: TA prepped us for test and prof wrote the test.

I did the best I could on the test. I tend to make dumb errors when doing math, but I went really slow, double-checked my work, etc. Once done, I convinced myself that I'd be okay with a lower grade than I'd hoped for going into the test.

So what happened? Did everyone bomb the final and they had to curve the grades dramatically*? That's the only thing that could've happened, other than me getting really lucky on my questionable answers. Or maybe it's just a flat out error on my grade. Even so, it makes me think about grade inflation that's happened in the last 10-15 years or however long. When I was in college the first time, I was thrilled to get A-range grades (it didn't happen very often...in my first 2 years the only A grades I received were in The Art of Listening to Music and Asian-American History), and very happy with B-range grades. I wasn't a great student -- my priorities were on having fun -- but teachers just plain graded differently back then. They were not so generous with the 4.0s. Now that I've been back in school I've been surprised at how many people expect, even demand a 4.0.

Last quarter, when I was teaching, my advisor told me that a good average grade for a 100-level class was a 90%, so I curved my grades just a little to fit this mean. But I was surprised: 90% average for 100-level. I don't think this is how my professors graded way back when.

Anyway, I'm glad I got the grade I did...but if I were to grade my own performance and understanding of stats, I'd give myself a 3.4-3.5. And if this were 1990, I would've given myself a 2.8.

* Y'know, this could've been it. I sat with a group of guys who seemed to do really well in the course. During the test, one of them put his pencil down and then put his head on the desk. I found that reassuring.

Am I overthinking this? Of course I am. Moving on, promise.

Only 32 more days

2008-12-18T17:32:00.000-08:00

...to celebrate the Bush presidency! Celebrate right now with a little game of "Sock and Awe"...

Assorted colors

2008-12-13T15:42:00.000-08:00

I don't have anything really pressing to write, just a few small things jangling in my head. Plus, I'm relishing the fact that there's time to just have a few small things jangling in my head.

I started out the holiday shopping season determined to buy gifts from only independent stores. Well, scratch that. I just couldn't resist the ease of Amazon, plus since they're a local employer, it's all good. Now about Target, they're not so much a local employer, but hey, maybe any shopping right now is good for the economy.

Speaking of Target, I went there last night to pick up some colored lights, and walked in circles until I realized they have no lights. I think there was one box of icicle lights, and lights incorporated in fake garlands and wreaths and things, but no actual strings of lights. Went over to Walgreens, and they were having a 75% off lights sale. Bingo.

I need to get our Christmas letter thingy rolling, but that requires a photo, which requires August NOT having a disgusting looking nose. We may need to use a less fresh photo this year. I'm hoping that her cold clears up enough to run up to the Christmas at the Junction on Sundays thing and get her picture with Santa at Cafe Verite.

Meanwhile, big snow storm is predicted for tonight (or at least that's what they were saying this morning), so I rented enough movies to last us for a while if we're snowed in (Seattle-style), including Wall*E. Can't wait to see it.

Sixteen months

2008-12-10T14:04:00.000-08:00

I need a break from my paper writing. What a perfect time to note August's development.

August likes to run and climb. She's also hep to dancing when the mood strikes.

August can say maybe 40-50 words (or more that we just don't recognize): ball, dog, milk, please, no, yes, eyes, nose, hair, car, Elmo, baby, duck, nap.

August does not usually say Mama and Dada, though she can. These were not her first words. We think 'dog' probably was her first word.

August is 23.5 lbs and about 31 inches as of a few weeks ago.

August likes to feed her animals, give them bottles, etc.

August might be able to identify herself as "Auguh" (or so it seemed when I asked "Who's that baby?" last night when we were looking in the mirror).

August's favorite toys are her ride-on-top firetruck, Sully the monster, stacking rings, toy bottle, books, my cell phone, monkeys and her favorite teddybear.

August has a high tolerance for discomfort/pain, i.e. she's always crashing into things and doesn't seem to notice.

August likes to touch Sammy and T-ko's noses.

August sleeps 7 pm - 7 am as she has since she was 3.5 months old.

August is afraid of Tickle Me Cookie Monster, but not Cookie Monster on tv.

Day off

2008-12-08T16:48:00.000-08:00

Yesterday was Ray's birthday, and he was very deliberate about what he wanted to do for the day: stay in sweats, read paper, drink coffee, watch random tv, draw, waffles (not necessarily in that order). This was possible since August was at Nana's for the weekend.

Anyway, it made me hanker for a day off, since my birthday was at the beginning of the quarter and I was frantically (literally) pulling together lectures and Powerpoint slides. I might have an opportunity for a day off this week or next, on Friday or next Thursday. It'll have to be contained to 9 am to 4 pm, but there's a lot I could do in that time frame. Here's my plan:

Swim OR naturopath appt (depending on day)
Watch movie, drink coffee
Organize 2 areas of the house
Watch another movies and eat strategic off-limits items (wheat, sugar, dairy)

I know it doesn't sound like much, but it sounds like heaven to me!

An alternate Thanksgiving story

2008-11-28T21:15:00.000-08:00

A few years ago, Ray and I attended a birthday party. At this party we met a guy, Mark, and his wife. Our introduction went something like this:

Me: "Hi, nice to meet you."

Mark: "You too. I understand you're getting married, is that right?"

Me: "Yeah, we're getting married in a few months."

Mark: "Congratulations. Are you Christians?"

Me: "No, I wouldn't really say that."

Mark: "Oh that's too bad, since only through Christ can you have a successful marriage..."

I'm not kidding. He actually said this. Ray and I have been talking/laughing about this for years.

Flash forward to yesterday...Thanksgiving. This same Mark person came to our family dinner. As soon as we saw him we both thought, "Oh, THAT guy."

When out of earshot, I asked about him, "We met Mark a few years ago...I've forgotten his wife's name."

The response: "Oh, they're not married anymore..."

Ha!

Today's rant

2008-11-19T12:52:00.000-08:00

Argh. I've had enough of "problem-based learning." It's become my new pet peeve, right up there with tail-gating (the driving too close variety, not the pre-game party), peas, and grumpy workers at the fabric store.

In the past couple months, I've attended several school-based conferences, most of them on teaching. For the umpteenth time today, I went into a class looking forward to understanding the concept further and getting some tools I can put to use. And, for the umpteenth time, we were treated to break-out brainstorming groups where we were suppose to generate our own answers. I had to ask (by then only 20 minutes left of class) if the instructor was ever going to cover the primary elements of the concept. She did...by referring for 3 minutes to a handout. So I know no more now about the topic than I did before walking into class. I would've learned more by surfing the web than I would in an hour long class that should've covered the subject matter handily.

Don't get me wrong, I think student participation is important. But for pete's sake, please teach your own class, don't have the student's make up a bunch of stuff and believe that suffices for actual instruction.

Term paper day

2008-11-11T09:36:00.000-08:00

Since today is a holiday and there's no school, I decided to designate the day for writing. I've got a term paper due at the end of the quarter on auditory processing disorder, and I've had (and will have) very little time to work on it. So why not try and get a draft written right now.

It's a good plan, but already I've been procrastinating. I've already checked both emails twice, Facebook, Twitter, and looked up an album on Amazon. I've made my breakfast smoothie, shared some popcorn with Sammy, and now I'm making tea. P-r-o-c-r-a-s-t-i-n-a-t-i-o-n.

So maybe if I "liveblog" my day, I'll be motivated to get more done. Nothing begets writing like a little writing. Right?
_______________________

9:35 am Finish making tea, back to paper. So far 2 sentences written: "In their 2006 study, Sanches and Carvallo examined contralateral suppression of transient evoked otoacoustic emissions (TEOAE) in 51 children, some of whom had been diagnosed with APD. Their research question: Could noise suppression be absent or minimized in the auditory processing systems of children with APD?"

10:05 You know, I like listening to semi-cheesy massage music while I write. No words, simple themes, easy to ignore. (Half-page written.)

10:40 Crap. I need to upload the next lecture for my class. We'll be talking about dipthongs. That's right...DIPTHONGS. It's really fun to say.

11:22 Just hammered a nail into the wall in August's room so we can hang her "art" projects from daycare. And I'm getting close to being done with Sanches & Carvallo.

11:58 Done with Sanches & Carvallo. Break time! Heading to store to pick up a few things, and then to the car wash. Been meaning to wash and vacuum my car for a couple months. Just so long as I get through two more articles in my paper this afternoon.

1:20 pm Oh crap. How did an hour and 20 go by? I haven't even eaten lunch, and I've got only 2.5 hours to write before I go get August. At least my car's all sqeaky clean.

1:31 Now that I've picked the peas out of my microwave chicken tikka masala, I'm ready to get back to work.

2:38 Well, after writing several paragraphs, a short nap seemed in order. Now I'm back to it and determined to get through at least the Elliott et al article. At least.

3:36 Woohoo! Done with Elliott et al and 20 minutes to spare. You can see how I've lowered my expectations of the day. Last night: "I'm going to write a draft of my paper." This morning: "I'm going to write a draft of the three primary research studies." This afternoon: "I've successfully finished 2 of 3 research studies." Oh well. Maybe I'll pick this up again tonight.