To do this week

Memorize vowel articulatory features
Write grant
Remember logarithms? Do homework anyway
Write and lay out newsletter
Steer clear of a coup
Recommend a friend
Write paper about systems theory
Bet $5 on Spike Lee
Study for test
Wait for big news
Contemplate quitting my job
Love school
Drink tea

Artisan-Shmartisan Crackers

By George, I think we've got it.

After 5 attempts over the last week, I think this recipe is close-ish to the $4-5/box version of Artisan Crackers. The beauty of this recipe is that a) it consists of stuff you already have on hand, b) it's mind-numbingly simple and takes less than 10 minutes to whip up plus 20 min in the oven, and c) it costs less than 50 cents to make (not 50 cents per cracker but <50 cents for the entire batch of 12-15 2" crackers...so there Essential Baking Co!).

In-house Taste Tester's thumbs-up conclusion: "Needs brie."

¾ cup flour
¾ teaspoon salt
1 tablespoon dried rosemary
1½ tablespoon olive oil
¼ cup water

Heat oven to 375. Mix together flour, salt and rosemary. Pour in the olive oil and water and mix until a nice ball forms. Flour a surface and roll the dough out as thin as you can, and place it on a sprayed baking sheet (the rolled out dough should cover most of the sheet...see below). Use a big knife to score/cut the dough into the cracker size you want. Optional: brush lightly with olive oil. Bake for about 20 minutes.

I'm sure this is easy to modify to taste, e.g. swap spices, add pepper, add parmesan, etc. If anyone tries and/or modifies these, please report opinions and results!

Garden plan

You gonna eat dat?

Crackers 1 & 2

Yeah, well...I'm getting closer. These were both good, but not quite like the Artisan Crackers. I think I'll be pretty close the next one or two tries, though I'm not sure if I can roll them out thin enough. Luckily these are seriously fast to make. All the more reason that no one should spend $4-5/box.

Cracker challenge

Have you ever spent $4-5 on a small box of "Artisan Crackers?" You get like 5 crackers, which means they're about a buck each. Ridiculous. How hard can crackers be to make, "artisan" or not? (And what is the deal anyway with the word Artisan on food products, which automatically means they're twice as expensive. I think it just means it's made by a person rather than a machine, and sometimes people make mistakes, which means the food item turns out different each time, and is therefore "artistic." So basically we are paying extra for something that is potentially derived from a screwed-up recipe.)

Anyway, I'm gonna try to make my own crackers. We have a monster rosemary shrub in the back, so there's no shortage of "Organic Rosemary." The other ingredients on the box are all cheap: "Organic Unbleached Flour, Organic Semolina Flour, Water, Canola Oil, Olive Oil, Sea Salt, Baking Powder."

If I figure this out, I'll alert the world. Some people Save The Whales. I'll just stop people from spending a buck a cracker.

Napping