Learning curve

Me, on phone to Ray: "Hi, got a quick question. Do you know of any good websites with basic list of commands for Unix? I'm in the lab and we're trying to convert the fMRI data to this cool new program that runs on Unix."

Ray: <laughter>

Ray, muffled, to others: "Check this out...my wife's on the phone asking for a quick tutorial on Unix..."

Ray, to me: "Uh...it's like you just asked for a website on how to fly a plane."

Me: "Oh."