It's called Midwest Country. And it's ugly.

Towards the end of my home bedrest, I discovered the home design channel. Bretney came over to paint the baby room, and flipped to HGTV (I think) before starting on the room. In between chatting with Bretney while she worked, I watched some design show. I thought was the early part of the show...you know, the "before." This woman's sewing room was done completely in mauvey peach -- walls, shelving, etc. -- with kelly green accents on the floral drapery and other upholstery. Hideous.

What's even more hideous, I realized shortly, is that this was not the "before." Oh no. This was the "after."

"Oh my god Bretney. You have to come see this! It's horrible!"

"Yeah...it's bad. You see lots of this in the Midwest."

"But it's beyond ugly...look! Look!"

"Yeah, that's Midwest Country for you."

"Oh my god. I always thought ________ had no taste, but now I know she does. And it has a name?! Good lord, make it stop!"

"You better calm down or I'm going to change the channel. This is not good for your blood pressure."