The old lady and the pineapple

I made a pineapple upside-down cake today to celebrate the end of Lant. I wasn't as good at avoiding sugar this time around...let's just say I came in for a gentle landing. The cake was sure good though.

Anyway, pineapple reminds me about being a kid, on one day in particular:

Vindication

One Sunday after church
When I was but a tot
We potlucked in the church basement
(We did this a lot)

My mother had told me
"Don't eat too many sweets"
I said that I wouldn't
I reluctantly agreed

The table was laden
With all sorts of goods
Brownies, pies, cakes
And big cookies too

Nearby the sweet eatings
In a big bowl piled high
Glistening, bright yellow,
the (pine)apple of my eye

I dearly love pineapple
(Or I did back then
Now it makes my stomach ache
it's no longer my friend*)

I ate a few pieces
I went back for more
I ate a lot of pineapple
until I didn't want anymore

An old woman watched me
Mrs. McCready her name
But she assumed I ate cookies,
and more of the same

She then told my mother
I was pigging on sweets
My mother was peeved
She went straight after me

"I didn't! I didn't!"
I emphatically cried
"I was eating pineapple
And my tongue feels...wide."

My mother didn't believe me
Not initially
But one look at my tongue
Was all that she'd need

It was red, raw and swollen
My stomach, in a bunch
But tongue told the story
Mrs. McCready's couldn't touch

My mother believed me
She did not punish the girl
Who ate too much fruit
And then wanted to hurl
___________
* I can now only eat pineapple in small doses